Instrument of the Gods
by PTBvisiongrrl
Summary: As we know, Kara didn’t die in the mandela. But we don’t know what happened to her yet so here’s my version. A sequel to my Malestorm FillIns.
1. Chapter 1

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

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WIP

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Author- PTBvisiongrrl

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Part- 1/?

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Date- 6-19-07

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Rating – R, just to be safe

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Pairings/Characters- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

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Word Count- 1765

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Category- Short Story

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Genre- Angst

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Archiving- The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

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Warnings- Not really…

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Spoilers- THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

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Disclaimers- _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

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Summary- As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

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I don't want to flood "the market" with Season Four speculative fan-fic, especially as AU as this one. I was toying with the idea of continuing the pregnancy from Maelstorm Fill-Ins, as several readers were slightly disgruntled that the story line was dropped. Let me know what you think (hint, hint, HINT.)

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Instrument of the Gods

Chapter One

The world in-between was just as Kara as pictured the Elysian Fields as a child- bright, warm, everyone in white. No one was supposed to be unhappy, or sad. Those who dwelled here were to do so with a certainty in their heart and a complete lack of concern with the world they had left.

Starbuck was unnerved by the place, to say the least. Kara wasn't far behind. And her thoughts never left Lee Adama, Galactica, and the Colonial Fleet. So much for the vision of temple school.

She had wondered, the moment she had let the mandela storm swallow her, what would become of her unborn child. There had been a hint of regret, of the unfairness of it all, before consciousness left her. The priestesses had always taught that the mortal realm and the afterlife were separate; the body did not follow you to heaven. Yet the child did not yet have a viable body of its own. Therefore, she was distinctly displeased and surprised to find herself still pregnant- more pregnant than she had been, in reality- as she wandered the fields in search of those who had arrived earlier than she.

Time was peculiarly still here. It seemed to be frozen, even as she moved, making her way through a small forest in search of someone, anyone, whom she knew. The walk could have been ten miles, or five minutes; her mind simply would not calculate it in terms that she could understand. Time passed unmarked, as if it did not exist, or was of no matter at all. She walked with purpose, but without a plan.

Where was someone she knew? Zak? Her father? Any of the pilots who had died in the war? Arrival at the Elysian Fields was supposed to be a homecoming, a celebration. She had seen no one familiar yet; any other human was simply at too far a distance to attract his or her attention.

The lack of contact began to make her skin crawl, and her mind think the worst. What frakkin Cylon hell had she been pulled into? Where was Leobon? Her mind sprinted down that path; it was at the finish line in the blink of an eye, and she was reaching for a non-existent sidearm while glancing behind every tree for a glint in the sun of a hiding Centurion.

The fear made her sweat, and feel shaky. When an unfamiliar voice laughed from her six, she whirled to meet the enemy.

"Kara!" A younger woman clad in home-spun robes, the style similar to those in ancient artworks, called out. Her tone was reassuring, yet still mysterious. "There are only friends here!"

Military training held on even in the afterlife. "Who are you, and what do you want?" Kara remained tense, ready to spring to action, even ungainly as she was with a suddenly swollen belly.

An older woman, steel gray threads shining through thick blond braids coiled on top of her head like a crown, stepped in front of the younger woman. "I have business with you, Kara."

The younger woman introduced herself. "I am Hestia. I am here to assist you-" she motioned to Kara's belly, which seemed to have grown in inches since the conversation started- "with anything you need." She smiled widely at Kara, inspiring confidence.

"I don't know either of you." Kara suddenly doubled over in pain, although she managed to keep herself upright. "What do you want with me?" A second pain sent Kara bent over further, causing her to gasp and pant with pain. "And what the frak is going on? I'm not this pregnant!"

Hestia came forward and firmly grasped Kara's arm, helping Kara to rise. "This is why I am here to help you. Time is different here. The birth is almost upon you here, not a distant inconvenience to ignore, as it was in your place."

The woman's words hit Kara after a moment. "In my place? Am I in Elysia, then?"

The older woman picked her way over to Kara and Hestia, taking Kara's other arm and helping to lead her to a small clearing in the trees. "Not quite. More like the waiting area." Placing her down gently, she allowed Hestia to minister to Kara. "You are not actually dead yet, so you cannot pass into the Elysian Fields."

"How am I not dead?" Kara ground out through clenched teeth as the pain of labor and birth began to assault her. Starbuck flared beneath Kara's demeanor, despite increasing and increasingly frequent pain. "What the frak is going on? And who the hell are you?"

Hestia placed a hand on Kara's forehead, murmuring in a soothing voice that made the words unclear, yet the pain became displaced- distant enough to ignore, for the time being. Removing her hand, Hestia began arranging Kara's body- leaning her back against a tree stump, pillowing her body with handfuls of soft, fluffy moss- without asking permission. "You are about to give birth to a daughter."

Eyes widening, Kara spat out, "No! This is not happening! I am not going to be a mother!"

The other woman, a look older than time playing across her face, smiled briefly. "There is very little you can say about it now, Kara Thrace. The time to lose the child is long past, in the time of this place; that is one of the reasons you were brought here."

Grimacing against a rising contraction- Kara knew enough of children and childbirth to assign a name to her discomfort- "Why? Why do you care?"

"I am Hera," the woman sighed, and settled down next to Kara in a stately manner, on her knees and with white filmy gown spread out about her. Taking Kara's hand, Hera began. "You are special, Kara. Socrata was not wrong in that, simply wrong in her manner of teaching you."

"Don't mention that name to me." Kara tried to pull her hand out of Hera's, but the goddess- for lack of a better way to describe the female form at her side- did not allow it.

"She was not a wise choice, I admit now." Hera sighed again. "I thought she was strong enough to bear her destiny. I was wrong. I am sorry for that, as well as other things, my daughter."

Kara closed her eyes against pain, again, confused. "What was her destiny?"

"To raise a Hero," Hera stated, "a girl-child of the gods. Socrata was too weak, not up to the promise of her line. I thought that, descended of a Hero, she would be."

"Hero?" Kara asked, as increasing pain made it hard to think clearly. Even Hestia's cool hand on her forehead was not helping now. "I'm a Hero?"

"Your father- your human father- was a musician. Were you aware of that?" Hera asked gently. At Kara's positive response- barely a nod, at this point in the birth process- she continued. "Your true father was Apollo, who possessed your human father's body. And your mother's ancestor, back before time was clearly recorded, was the founder and made-god, Aeneas."

Surprise shoved aside the pain momentarily. "I'm related to the founder of the Colonies?"

Hera laughed lightly. "Almost everyone has a blood tie to the colony founder somewhere, dear. But your tie is stronger then others. Blood calls to blood, power to power; somehow, the truly capable find one another and procreate together through the generations. Your lineage is littered with Heros and strong descendants, as is-"

"Apollo's," Kara cut the goddess off in a very non-reverential way.

"Lee Adama's," Hera corrected. "It is close to blasphemy, that call-sign choice, and quite ironic."

"Call-signs are given to you by your instructor. You don't get to-" Kara caught her breath and held it against a pain- "choose your own."

"Silly mortal practice, acting like a god to name a new creature." Hera shook her head. "Lee Adama comes from a line similar to yours, descended from the great Phoebus Apollo."

"So Lee is a Hero, too?" Kara began to get a bad feeling in her gut, and it had nothing to do with the baby trying to rip her apart from the inside out. "And what does that make this child?"

Hestia tried to calm Kara, to no avail. Hera had taken on her imperial manners again and rose, looking down on the tired and sweaty and decided not-Hero looking Kara. "She will be the instrument of the Gods."

Kara tried to rise and physically go after Hera. Foolish, if she was a god, but Kara really didn't care in that moment. This child had been created out of love- frakked up, ill-timed, never-meant-to-be love, but love none the less. The gods would not take this child from her to use and abuse as she herself had been. "No!" Kara cried out, as she was unable to stand.

Hestia began speaking low instructions to Kara, about positioning and pushing and relaxing between. Kara could not keep her attention focused on so many fractured points, and decided that Hera was a minor problem for now. More important was getting this thing out of her so that she could control her own body again. Once that was accomplished, she could protect the baby better and deal with these pain in the ass deities. Concentrating on Hestia and her words made labor go faster and easier. Kara stopped fighting the natural process her body understood, even if her mind refused to accept it.

Once she began to push, it did not take long. With a rush of liquids Kara would rather not think about, she lay back on the mossy ground, spent and exhausted, as Hestia fussed with the product of all Kara's work.

The child did not cry, a fact that took several minutes to register with Kara. In all the movies, babies came out screaming. What was wrong?

Hestia sensed her fear, and brought the bundled child to her. "Childbirth is a bit different here, in this place. There is nothing wrong with the child; she is at peace here, and feels no need to cry." Laying the girl on Kara's stomach, Hestia smiled warmly. "She is beautiful."

Closing her eyes, Kara forced back the tears that momentarily surfaced. Her baby was fine. Then the irony of the situation hit her. She was happy that a child she would have killed was alive and healthy. And she realized how big a mistake she had been prevented from making as soon as her daughter opened those huge blue eyes and looked up at her. "Tierra," she named the child, as a thought surfaced out of the blue and exhaustion claimed her.


	2. Chapter 2

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FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

__

WIP

****

Author- PTBvisiongrrl

****

Part- 2/?

****

Date- 6-19-07

****

Rating – R, just to be safe

****

Pairings/Characters- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

****

Word Count- 2032

Category- Short Story

****

Genre- Angst

****

Archiving- The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

****

Warnings- Not really- just language…

****

Spoilers- THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

****

Disclaimers- _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

****

Summary- As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Instrument of the Gods

Chapter Two

The timelessness of the place in-between made Kara more compliant and less argumentative. Her life quickly became something she never expected. Her days were determined by the needs of her child. Caring for Tierra, with the help of Hestia, was a cycle of feeding, changing, playing. The child seemed to grow overnight, much quicker than seemed usual. When questioned, Hestia simple indicated that time was not normal here, and how it would affect a human child- even one of the line of gods and heroes- was not known. Uncharacteristically, Kara accepted that answer without a fight or any further questions. That is, until after Tierra began walking and imitating simple words like "mama" and Hera showed up again.

"Starbuck," Hera called out to Kara, who was busy playing chase with Tierra in a grassy field. "It is time to answer the call to your destiny."

Eye contact with Hestia assured that Tierra would be cared for. Kara rose and walked past the goddess, not waiting to see if Hera followed. Mortal or not, Hero or not, Kara was who she was, and she did not let anyone lead her around blindly. Once Kara had judged that they were far enough away that Tierra would not overhear anything- Kara was unsure, given Tierra's extraordinary development, just how much she could understand, and was taking no chances- she stopped and faced Hera proudly. "And just what is my destiny?"

"To lead your Colonial Fleet to Earth." Hera raised one eyebrow eloquently. "I thought you knew that already."

"The dying leader brings the fleet to Earth," Kara replied, her heart clenching tightly. She did not wish to die, to leave her daughter. The thought alone was enough to leave her breathless. "I'm not dying."

Hera looked put-off. "A mistranslation, a silly mistake on the part of the scribes. It was dead, not dying. And as far as the Fleet is concerned, you are already dead." She delicately sat down on the slope, indicating with a gentle wave that Kara should join her. "Check that attitude, Starbuck. At one time, you truly believed in we gods. Where is your reverence? Or at least respect?"

Kara had to question that herself. She had adamantly believed; her faith had brought her through so many of her difficult times. That strong belief had allowed her to cross into the mandela and yet had largely deserted her the moment she crossed the threshold. "I don't know," she answered honestly as she lowered herself beside the goddess.

A small smile played across Hera's mouth as she considered the endless blue sky and clouds. "Probably the knowledge that we, too, make mistakes. At any rate, in my old age, I have learned to tolerate a great deal. I will tolerate this as well, as long as you do what I want."

The old urge to be contrary blossomed in Kara, and she clamped it down, choosing instead to slowly shred a handful of grass blades slowly. "Just what is it that you want me to do?" She felt an odd sense of deja-vu from a life time ago, of a similar conversation with the President of the Colonies regarding a raider and an arrow. She hoped that, whatever Hera wanted, it would end better than that mess for her.

"You must return to the Colonial Fleet and lead them to Earth." Hera smiled serenely.

Kara smirked back, throwing the last remnants of glass to the wind and asking sarcastically, "So, queen of the gods, are you showing me the way?"

A tinkle of laughter fell from Hera. "Of course, I will show you Earth." She rose abruptly and began walking back towards Hestia and Tierra. "But your daughter will guide your way there."

Kara froze, halfway up from the ground. "What?" She did like the sound of this.

Hera stopped mid-stride and faced Kara. "Tierra is the reason we were able to bring you here. The reason we needed you here. She is the means to save our children."

Pausing for a moment, Kara continued rising and faced off against Hera with her arms stubbornly crossed. "She is my daughter. A little girl. She does not have a destiny carved out for her already. She will live her life as she wants-" her voice had continued to rise as she spoke, ending near a full-throttle yell, when Hera quietly interrupted her.

"What life?" The cruelty in Hera's voice cut Kara and turned her blood to ice. "She has a minor goddess as a governess, and a misplaced Hero as her mother. Who else have you met here, Kara? What life does Tierra have here?"

Reality lumped in Kara's throat, unclenching tight muscles and allowing her arms to sag to her sides. This place had skewed her priorities, lulled her into an intellectual fog. Caught up in the details of motherhood and comfortable in her existence, Kara had forgotten the world. There was no real here; Tierra would be content here, but never happy and never know what real life was like. Real life, life before the Cylon attacks, not the half-life of terror and limited resources that Kara would be returning to. In that moment, Kara began a long, slow process of recovering Starbuck and resuming life. "How?"

The release of held breath by Hera let Kara know that Hera understood her participation in this plan was not yet won. "You will return to the Fleet. Tierra will stay here. In this in-between place, it will be possible for you to continue to speak to your daughter in your dreams. She will guide you to Earth."

"She can barely talk yet-" Kara began.

Hestia, holding the hand of a five or six year old tow-headed girl, appeared behind Hera. "I told you that time does not quite exist here. Tierra can appear at any age she wishes- any age you need her-"

Kara bit her lip. Looking at the girl was like looking at a picture of herself at six, before her father left and life went to hell. There was no way to deny, despite the logic of it, that this was her child. "How? Can you at least explain to me how this works? How can she be any age- I mean, to be a person, you need a past, a series of experiences-"

"Tierra is special in many ways, Kara," Hera gently answered. "She is you, but not you. She knows everything you knew until her birth- your experiences are hers- but-"

"No!" Kara spat out. "No! I don't want my daughter to ever know the things I have experienced!"

"It is too late, Mother," Tierra appeared at Kara's side to take her hand, suddenly sixteen or more. "I understand that this is not a usual mother-daughter bond. But this is how it is. I love you as much as if you had spent years raising me. I know my place in the world, my destiny. I embrace it, as I embrace the uniquenesses of my existence."

Unnerved, Kara could only stare at the beautiful young woman with flowing golden curls and those damn Adama blue eyes. She was unable to articulate a response for long moments; in the intervening silence, Tierra's eyebrow quirked up, and a corner of her mouth twisted into the beginnings of a trade mark Starbuck smirk. "On the bright side, you don't have to change any more diapers, and I already understand the birds and the bees."

Recovering quickly, Kara answered, "Don't follow my example when it comes to booze or men." Frowning slightly, still uncomfortable, she asked, "So why did you stay as a baby for so long?"

Tierra considered her answer. "I felt that you needed me to, that there had to be some normalcy to this whole odd place. To give you time to adjust."

At this point, Hera intruded. "I can answer any questions you want to ask about the practicalities of this situation."

"Can she ever leave this place?" Kara asked quickly. As much as she had been prepared to discard this child not so long ago, she had become attached. Kara did not want to have to leave her temporarily, much less forever; Kara also wanted this amazing child to be able to meet her father.

"Once you have reached Earth, she will be free of the in-between world." Hera stated. Hestia nodded in agreement.

"Why?" Kara asked bluntly, tightly grasping her near-grown child's hand tightly in her own. "Why is she a hostage? Why are you so interested in the Fleet reaching Earth?"

The slight hesitation before she spoke clued Kara in to Hera lying. "Because we owe our children that much."

"What's the real reason?" Kara continued to interrogate, her voice dropping and words becoming clipped.

"Vulcan," Tierra answered in place of Hera. "The Thirteenth Colony no longer worships the gods and goddesses; they worship technology and science, and hence, Vulcan has become their chief and only god."

Smoothing her wrinkle-less gown nervously, Hera took a deep breath that made her chest rise and fall appreciably as she let it out. "Zeus is the only one who can rule the other gods well. Vulcan is not well-liked, and cannot be allowed to ascend to the Throne of the Gods. Chaos- here and in the mortal realm- will ensue."

"Prove it," Kara shot back. "I don't want to be a pawn in some power struggle between deities."

Hestia licked her lips nervously, and looked to Hera for approval. At a slight incline of Hera's head, Hestia breathed the words that would convince Kara to do this. "Vulcan is the god of the forge, of technology. Who do you think created the Cylons?"

"Frak!" Kara yelled. It was the one thing that would get her to agree to her role, without many questions.

"If we do not stop him, before he becomes too powerful-" Hestia shook her head sorrowfully- "The Thirteenth Colony will go the way of the other Twelve. Humankind will be destroyed."

"This has all happened before and will all happen again." Kara muttered. "The Ages of Mankind. Each one different, yet all with the same ending- mankind dead and gone."

Hera shook her head. "Yes. This is a new age, without a name, yet. The character and ending of this age has yet to be determined, but it is looking rather grim at this point."

"Leoben was right." Kara's mind could barely factor all this information in, so astonished was she that the Cylons could be right about anything. "We keep living out this script, with different scenes and actors, yet the same themes and ending each time. Gold, silver, bronze, heroic, iron- now chrome?"

"There is a new role in this age, a pivotal one," Tierra spoke up. "Me. In the cycles previously, I was never born. I would not have been born in this one, but for the fact that you recognized and accepted your destiny." She pulled her mother into an embrace. "I will do all that I can to change humanity's fate, Mother."

The depth of the truth's meaning pulled Kara's heart down. Seeing the big picture, she knew now that she had to return to the Fleet, to Lee- and without Tierra. Only Tierra, who existed out of time and place- and yet not- could help Kara guide the Fleet to Earth. The recognition of what had to be done did not make the doing of it any easier. Kara tried to ease her pain. "I have to leave," she stated, rather than asked. All three- Hera, Hestia, and Tierra- nodded. "When?' Kara asked in a shaky voice.

"Soon," Hera answered. "But not immediately. You may have some time with your daughter, before returning."

Kara nodded. "How will I-" she tried to ask.

"All will be dealt with in time." Hera turned to go, but turned back. "You are a Hero, Kara, but you are also human. Know now, before you start this, just how hard it is to carry the burden of the gods- and how rewarding, in the end." She then left, walking as stately as ever over the grassy hills and away from Kara and her daughter.


	3. Chapter 3

****

FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

__

WIP

****

Author- PTBvisiongrrl

****

Part- 3/?

****

Date- 6-20-07

****

Rating – R, just to be safe

****

Pairings/Characters- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

****

Word Count- 1702

****

Category- Short Story

****

Genre- Angst

****

Archiving- The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

****

Warnings- Not really- just language…

****

Spoilers- THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

****

Disclaimers- _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

****

Summary- As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Chapter Three

Hestia quickly excused herself. "My assistance is not really needed right now. I will give you some time before you must undertake your journey, Kara."

Kara sat down, her back to a tree stump on a sloping hill of grass. "Well, you seem to know so much, Tierra, tell me how this will work." It was difficult to keep the sarcasm from her tone.

Tierra settled next to her mother and grasped her hand. "Please don't be so bitter. I understand why you are, but please know that I accept this fate, this destiny."

Kara snorted. "What else do you know? What other life?" Her face and voice were hard with anger for what her daughter was required to do. "They are using us- you- to get what they want."

"They cannot use us, if we agree." Tierra sighed, trying to find a way to explain. "Why do you fly Vipers?"

"I don't fly Vipers anymore," Kara stated.

"Why DID you fly Vipers?" Tierra asked. Kara was amazed that no exasperation slipped into that calm voice.

"I am good at it." Kara stated without thinking.

"You were good at many things, Mother." Tierra closed her eyes. "Pyramid, I know that wasn't an option. But I can see the poetry and art on the walls of your apartment in Delphi. You could have made a career of it. You chose not to. Why?"

Kara considered her answer. "Art- was too personal."

"Self-serving?" Tierra questioned.

Studying Tierra's hand in her own- as she had a thousand times studied baby Tierra's hands looking for Lee's long, delicate fingers, the shape of his nails- Kara reworded her answer. "Too alone. Art is great, but what could my art do to make the world better?"

"You chose Vipers and the Fleet to make a difference." Tierra stated. "Yet you have followed orders that you didn't like, did things that you didn't really want to do."

Tensing, Kara nodded. "But that was different-"

"No, Mother, it wasn't." Tierra held her hand up to Kara's, comparing the twists of knuckles and nails to her own. Tierra's hands, Kara noted, were a blend of the simple elegance of Lee's and the blunt strength of her own. "This is all part of the same war. Your orders are now coming from a higher source."

"What if I refuse?" Kara asked in a whisper. "What if I don't want to go back, to leave you?"

"We can stay here," Tierra answered. "Forever, if you choose. But my father and the others will go to Elysium faster than if you chose to go back."

Put in those terms, Kara steeled herself. "Alright, I know I have to go back. But what about you? When will I see you again?"

"I will stay here. When you dream, we can see each other again." Tierra smiled. "If you could learn to meditate, we could probably then, too."

"How do you know the way to Earth?" Kara looked searchingly into her daughter's eyes, struck again by their utter blueness.

"The knowledge was inside you, Mother," Tierra smiled. "Buried down deep. Grandmother- her treatment of you-"

"I wish you didn't know those things. There's a lot I wish you didn't know," Kara said lowly, studying the clouds over her daughter's shoulder.

"Knowing those things, knowing how you chose to live your life despite them," Tierra inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. "I admire you deeply. Only a truly strong person could survive those things as intact as you did."

Kara laughed. "As intact as I did? I was an emotional cripple! A screw-up! I-"

" Survived, lived, found love," Tierra cut Kara off. "The rest doesn't matter. You understand the essence of life."

"How did this bury the knowledge of Earth?" Kara asked quickly, to change the subject. The idea that anyone would admire her, much less a child she had wanted, astounded and disconcerted her more than this false existence of the place in-between.

"Hera can explain it better." Tierra shrugged. "But I think it was that the knowledge was part of your birthright- and in rejecting your mother, understandable as it was, you rejected that heritage as well."

"I could have led the Fleet to Earth at any time?" Kara asked shakily, suddenly feeling a weight on her chest, making breathing difficult.

"No," Hera, suddenly there, interrupted. "Only when it became necessary for outside intervention to save humanity."

"The Cylon attacks didn't qualify?" Her breathing eased, but incredulity filled Kara's voice as she turned to look at the goddess.

"No," Hera stated. "Humanity still possessed the means and ability to save themselves at that point."

"And now?" Wary, Kara wasn't sure she wanted to know the true hopelessness of the situation.

"Maybe," Hera acknowledged, meeting Kara's eyes briefly before looking away. "But I am no longer willing to trust that fact. Although I will show you Earth before you are sent back, we will not provide you with a map, per say."

"Then what's the point?" Kara barked.

Tierra answered. "I can provide you with the steps, in order, but not the complete path. I don't even know the complete path. I have to make sense of it- and it will take me time-"

Hera nodded. "You will lead the Fleet to Earth. But it is not a triumphal march into the promised land. It requires work, just as anything else."

Kara decided that as long as they ended up on Earth, she was willing to do the legwork. "Okay. What's the plan?"

Leave-taking from Tierra was difficult. There were tears and hugs and emotions that Kara shoved deep down inside of her, compartmentalizing so that she could carry out her mission, just like hundreds of missions before. "I will miss you, Mother. Until we meet again on Earth." Tierra's smile wavered as she fought back more tears.

Kara hardened herself. "See you then, kid." When she turned again to face Hera, she found herself- somewhere else, again. A room, in an old-style palace. Classical, like a home of the gods. "Where the frak are we now?" she asked, slightly unnerved at the quick exit and chance of scenery.

"Olympus, I suppose you would call it." Hera raised an eyebrow. "The name serves."

"And Olympus is where, exactly?" Kara asked, looking around.

"Neither here nor there-" Hera began before Kara cut her off.

"_Another_ place in-between?"

Hera frowned slightly. "Yes."

Kara nodded, rolling her eyes. "Why are we here?"

"There is a portal that will allow us to go to Earth," Hera indicated that Kara should follow her down a hallway. "It is similar to the one in Athena's tomb."

Kara nodded again, then let curiosity get the better of her. "Was Athena really a goddess?"

"Yes, Athena is a goddess. But she is not the Athena of the tomb. That Athena was-"

Kara cut her off again. "A mortal Hero?"

A distinct sound of displeasure came from Hera. "Yes."

"So are there really gods and goddesses?" Kara prodded.

"For someone who was supposed to be quite devout, you sound heretical. Of course there are gods and goddesses." Hera scowled. "Do you really think the world would exist without us?"

Slightly chastened, Kara allowed that no, humankind would not probably not exist.

Hera shut down the direction the conversation had begun to take with one last statement. "Now is not the time for a philosophical debate on the nature of divinity, Kara."

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am," Kara jokingly saluted. She seemed to have the ability to get under everyone's skin. _Gotta have a skill_, she thought to herself. Her mood quickly changed as they approached a huge, arched, double width wooden doorway. It must be the portal, she thought, as the other side glowed around the outline of the door panels.

Hera pulled the door open swiftly and stepped through, expecting Kara to follow. After a moment, considering the wide vista before her, Kara stepped through as well.

She was suddenly back in a flight suit, helmet in her hand. She was stepping on a thin, almost-white sand beach, with waves of concentrated turquoise lapping at its edges. Turning around, she was immediately confronted with sheer rocky cliffs that grew into low mountains scattered with green. Turning once more to admire the ocean, she noted dots of land far out and surmised they were small islands. Water birds called sharply to one another as they circled overhead. "It's beautiful!" Kara breathed.

Hera nodded. "This is my favorite spot on all of Earth. Not every place here is so beautiful."

"What is the rest like?" Kara couldn't help but ask.

"It is very much like Caprica and the other colonies. Some areas are urban, some rural; some barren, some blessed with many resources." Hera smiled. "I believe that you will mesh well with these people, aside from religion."

"Aside from religion?" Kara questioned.

"They no longer worship we Olympians here. We are an archaic past," Hera admitted sadly. "But as a whole, they are very tolerant of different religions. Most Earth religions, however, tend to be monotheistic."

"Minor problem," Kara shrugged it off. Survival outweighed religion in her mind right now. "Can I see more of the planet?"

"I think that it would be better if you returned to the Fleet now." Hera drew herself up and waved a hand aimed behind Kara. "You will have years to explore the planet once the Fleet arrives."

Turning, Kara saw a pristine, shiny Viper with her call-sign on the nameplate. It was longer than current ones, shorter than the Mark IIs; the weaponry looked similar, but sleeker. "Nice bird," she commented.

"Consider it a gift to the Fleet," Hera replied. "I would leave the atmosphere directly, when you launch. Earth has defensive forces that might waylay you longer than you want to be held up."

Kara nodded, feeling much like herself. "Flight plan, oh, queen of the gods?"

"Head out past the large gas giant in the system; once there, consult your computer. Jump coordinates are in there."

"Jump coordinates? Vipers don't have FTL-" Kara looked worried.

"I've upgraded the wreck you brought with you." Hera smiled- wide and hopeful. "Good luck, Kara Thrace."

And then she was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

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FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

__

WIP

****

Author- PTBvisiongrrl

****

Part- 4/?

****

Date- 6-20-07

****

Rating – R, just to be safe

****

Pairings/Characters- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

****

Word Count- 1875

****

Category- Short Story

****

Genre- Angst

****

Archiving- The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

****

Warnings- Not really- just language…

****

Spoilers- THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

****

Disclaimers- _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

****

Summary- As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Chapter Four

Kara found herself suddenly dropped into the middle of a battle. There were Cylons everywhere, more than she remembered seeing together in one place since the initial attacks, and none of the Fleet's ships were jumping. "What the frak is going on?" she muttered to herself. Trust the capriciousness of the gods to drop her into the middle of a mess. Not sure how to contact the Galactica, and not sure how they would react, she decided her best bet was the jump right in and starting killing toasters.

Keeping an ear on the comm chatter as she chose a target to sight, she heard Apollo's voice. "I'm in Viper three, I have a bogey at my ten, I'm gonna go check it out." Her stomach did a girly flip-flop at the sound. Shoving the feeling down, she searched quickly for him. To check out who was his wingman, she told herself.

He didn't have one. What the frak was he doing, flying into battle solo? Did he have a death wish? She made the judgement call in an instant, cutting thrusters and turning to pass directly over him and into position on his left wing, just as she had so many times before.

"Where'd he go, where the frak did you go?" Apollo was muttering, twisting this way and that to get a bead on his bogey. Her pass above him distracted him for a moment. "Whoa, what the frak!"

Kara Thrace, as if she hadn't exploded in front of his eyes three months ago, smiled in relief at getting to see him again in this lifetime. "Hi, Lee."

"Kara!?" he asked, confusion, alarm, and sheer astonishment chasing across his face.

Laughing, Kara admonished him. "Don't freak out, it really is me." Skipping the long version to save for debrief, she went short and sweet, to get both their heads back into the game and come home alive. "It's gonna be okay. I've been to Earth. I know where it is. And I'm gonna take us there."

Kara didn't wait for Lee to fully recover. There was no time for that, in the heat of battle. "I feel like I'm a little late to the party, Apollo. Fill me in."

"Are you real, Kara? Or am I dead?" Lee asked, hardly taking his eyes off of her. "I watched you die…" He trailed off, and Kara sensed a break down on the way.

"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I'll fill you in after we kick some Cylon ass." She waited a second, then prodded again. After all, she had needed to adjust to the fact that she was not dead, too. "Sitrep?"

It took a couple of tries before Lee could speak. "We need to buy the fleet extended time to jump."

Kara almost sighed. "How extended?"

The Colonial officer in Lee finally gained control. "How do I know you're not a Cylon?"

Now Kara really did sigh. "Even if I was, I'm on your side for this one. You can ask Athena when we're through, okay?"

She saw Lee's mental calculation, the war between what he wanted and what he thought he knew. "Twenty minutes. Eighteen, now."

"Frak," she cursed. "Let's get to it."

An extra Viper, with Kara's idents, did not go unnoticed by CIC for long, even amidst a battle. The Admiral's gravely voice cut through the air, interrupting Kara's concentration. "Lee, what the frak are you doing out there? And who the hell is flying with you?"

Kara raised an eyebrow at the Admiral's words, then answered for Lee. "We killing some frakkin' Cylons, sir, and then bringing home the cat."

His astonishment was obvious. "Kara? Is that you?"

With a laugh of relief- glad to be home, even in the middle of this shit- Kara answered with a suppressed smile. "Yes, sir."

The moment of silence when he didn't speak again immediately was telling. It brought tears to Kara's eyes. "Sir? Permission to blow some toasters out of the sky?"

She heard him clear his throat and swallow. "Weapons free, Starbuck. Then bring my son home."

"Yes, sir!"

On the down side, the fleet lost a civilian freighter, a passenger ship, a Raptor, and three Vipers. Not bad, considering the disaster that could have occurred.

On the upside, the legend of Starbuck and Apollo lived again. Lee and Kara flew together as if they had been created to do just that, executing textbook manuevers with precision and scary, heart-stopping feats of skill equally well. They accounted for the majority of kills in the battle, just the two of them.

The real test of Kara's new found sense of purpose, however, came with landing. She was not surprised to find her Viper stairs guarded by a contingent of marines, nor was she surprised to see Lee push them aside to try and get to her canopy to rip it open. She wasn't even surprised (and didn't fight) being shackled like a Cylon and led to the Cylon holding cell.

What she was surprised by was the brush off Apollo gave Dee on the flight deck when, dutiful wife that she was, Dee greeted him upon his return. As her arms encircled him, he had carefully removed them and held her at arms' length. Shaking his head, he said something low in her ear, and gave Dee his back as he followed Kara and her contingent out.

Some things seemed to have changed during Kara's stay in the space between.

Some things did not change. Doc Cottle was the first to visit Kara in her cell, assigned to confirm her identity or Cylon-ness. His manner was as abrupt and brusque as ever. "Where you been keeping yourself, Thrace?" he asked conversationally as he drew some blood.

"Oh, here and there," Kara evaded. She did not want to tell her story to anyone but the Admiral and Lee; and the Admiral would be left ignorant of his grandchild, for now, she had already decided.

"Seen a doctor while you were gone?" Cottle asked as he drew another vial.

"Sort of." Kara evaded again.

Cottle finished up and lit a cigarette. "Still pregnant?" he asked.

"No." Kara answered.

"Probably for the best," Cottle stated after a heartbeat of silence. "Any injuries during your death?"

"I wasn't dead," Kara stated though gritted teeth. Cottle's bedside manner got under her skin at the best of times, and this most certainly wasn't one of them. "I was- somewhere else."

"A resurrection ship?" Cottle held the cigarette between his lips, blowing smoke into her face as he spoke and held a stethoscope to her chest.

"Frak you," Kara ground out, restraining herself. Her time in-between hadn't mellowed her as much as she had thought it had.

"Based on attitude alone," Cottle inhaled deeply on the cigarette, "I'd say you are who we think you are."

"Again, frak you," Kara said with a Starbuck smirk.

"I have to run more tests, of course. Xrays, etc. Any injuries I don't know about?" Cottle scribbled something on her chart.

"No," Kara stated flatly, wondering how long it would be before the Admiral or Lee showed up.

"Had some cosmetic surgery while you were gone, Thrace?" Cottle asked as he continued his physical exam.

Frowning, Kara shook her head. "Little busy for that sort of thing, even if I were the type. What the frak are you talking about, Doc?"

Cottle peeled back her flight suit a bit and held her left arm up for her to see. "You don't remember having that tattoo removed?"

Astounded, Kara sent a mental thank you to Hera, Hestia, and whatever other god had decided to erase the evidence of her misbegotten marriage to Sam Anders. "I was out of it for a while," she stalled.

Cottle made a note of that, too.

Hours later, tests run and re-run, Cottle sat in his office in Life Station with both the Admiral and Lee facing him. "All tests that I have run are consistent with Thrace's records. With the exception of one."

"So it's Kara?" Lee asked, leaning forward in his seat. Even Cottle could read the hope in his eyes.

"There's also one physical difference that she can't- or doesn't want to- account for." Cottle waited to be asked; patient-doctor privilege was a luxury of civilians and peace-time, but he was still reluctant to violate it in this case.

The Admiral, no less hopeful than Lee but better able to hide it, asked. "What test was different, and what is the physical difference?"

Cottle inhale and blew smoke. "She's missing the large tattoo on her left arm, and there are no scars or irritation, as would be expected at the quick removal of something that size. She didn't even realize it was gone until I pointed it out. All other tattoos and distinguishing marks are still in place and unchanged."

Lee tensed at the mention of the marriage tattoo. Cottle wondered what his reaction would be to the test news. "And?" The Admiral prodded.

"Thrace was pregnant at the time of her disappearance. She no longer is." Cottle left it out there, and sat back, waiting for reaction.

Lee took a shuddering breath, his eyes closed. Cottle was not going to tell Lee that he was the father, but it seemed that Ad,miral had already figured it out on his own. "Did she explain that?" the Admiral asked after a moment, laying his hand on Lee's arm. The Admiral was not oblivious to what went on on his ship.

"No. But she was actively seeking- an alternative- when I last saw her." Cottle stubbed out the cigarette carefully, preserving the unsmoked end for later.

"She was going to terminate?" Lee asked tensely.

"Legally, I could not help with that," Cottle stated, rising.

"But you didn't immediately report the pregnancy-" Lee's voice rose as he did. "You should have revoked her flight status immediately!"

Cottle came around his desk and stood toe to toe with the angry younger Adama. "She was only a month or so along; she was given a month to tell the father and report it herself. Her request. In my judgement, the medical threat to the baby was outweighed by the need to have Starbuck in the cockpit during time of war."

"That should have been the CAG's decision," the Admiral stated. "Protocol."

Cottle sighed. He knew the admiral had it figured out; Lee was a little more dense. He had avoided stating the obvious for as long as he could. Side stepping Lee, he walked to his office door and turned to face both men. "There were mitigating circumstances that might have called in to question the CAG's ability to make a reasoned decision."

"Are you trying to say that my friendship with Starbuck would color my judgement?" Lee barked, getting red in the face.

"He's trying to tell you, Lee," the Admiral sighed, "that you were the father."

"The truly odd thing, gentlemen, is that physical exam, blood-work, and x-rays indicate that she gave birth while she was—away." Cottle gave Lee a measured look, a nod to the Admiral, and was gone, leaving the Adama men to sort it out amongst themselves.


	5. Chapter 5

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FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

__

WIP

****

Author- PTBvisiongrrl

****

Part- 5/?

****

Date- 6-20-07

****

Rating – R, just to be safe

****

Pairings/Characters- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

****

Word Count- 1742

****

Category- Short Story

****

Genre- Angst

****

Archiving- The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

****

Warnings- Not really- just language…

****

Spoilers- THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

****

Disclaimers- _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

****

Summary- As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Chapter Five

Less than a day after being taken to the brig in shackles, Kara was being escorted to the Admiral's quarters by a full Marine guard. The soldier in charge explained that she was no longer in custody, but that the Admiral wanted to talk to her in private and he didn't want her to get waylaid by all the people who were happy that she was back.

Kara raised an eyebrow. "I would think that that would be a very short list, Corporal."

He smiled back. "Longer than you expected, I'm sure."

"And it didn't cross the Admiral's mind that someone might decide that I must be a Cylon agent and take me out, huh?" she asked, eyeing the bullet-proof vest another Marine handed her.

"Might have occurred to him," the Marine acknowledged.

"How about you?" she asked, testing the waters. She knew at least three of the marines here in passing; more than one better than that.

"You always beat the odds." One of the marines piped up. "Way I see it, this is no different. Doc cleared you. You're the same nasty bitch that left three months ago." The whole group chuckled.

Trust the jarheads to simplify things, she thought to herself. Shrugging on the vest, despite her misgivings about how she would be greeted and how she would explain where she had been, Kara felt happy. Tierra cast a shadow upon it, though; Kara had not dreamed of her last night, and she began to worry that maybe it was all a fiction created by her own mind. Her mental digression was cut off by the marine leader. "Ready, Captain?"

Nodding, she prepared herself for a fast hustle and hunched down to avoid eye contact or any impromptu weapons lobbed her way. The way was lined with the normal bustle of a battlestar mid-shift; conversations in the halls died as she passed, and did not resume. CIC was by-passed for a longer, less direct route to the Admiral's quarters. The hatch was open when the contingent arrived, and they all stepped through.

The Marines gave way immediately, leaving her a clear view of the President, the president's aide, an elder priestess, Cottle, Tigh, the Admiral, and Lee, arrayed across the room with no rhyme or reason. All but the Admiral and Lee were seated; the Admiral was rising from his desk chair and Lee looked liked he had been pacing. Not waiting for her to remove the vest, Lee made it across the room in seconds and enveloped her in a bear hug of epic proportions.

The Admiral gave her and Lee a few moments of semi-privacy as he dismissed the Marine guards, before he intruded. "I am officially welcoming you back to the Fleet, Captain Thrace. Your identify had been confirmed by Cottle." Cottle himself grunted agreement.

Pulling slightly away from Lee so that she could see the Admiral as well, she smiled through tears. "Glad to be back, sir."

A few seconds later, Lee released her with a shuddering breath. She looked up into his eyes, and bit her lip. "We need to talk later, Lee. Really talk." Lee nodded in agreement, and turned back to the room with her.

"Captain Thrace," the President began. "I know it is unusual to have so many civilians in a military debriefing session, but as usual, you are the exception to the rule. Some things have occurred since you- left us-" she paused for a better choice of words, then went on without them- "that put your reappearance in a different light."

Tigh jumped in, ignoring protocol. "What the hell happened out there, Starbuck?"

Kara found that she was still at a loss for words to adequately explain where she had been, what she had done, and what she had learned. "I was- somewhere else-" she began.

"Don't start frakking with us," Tigh started, but was cut off by the priestess, a raven-haired woman of impressive height and frame.

"What was this somewhere else like, Captain?" the priestess asked in a gentle voice. Kara could easily imagine her leading worship services, her voice raised in song.

Neglecting to answer, Kara asked a question of her own. "Not to be rude, but why is she-" she jerked her head towards the priestess- "here?" The question was directed to the Admiral, who deferred to the President.

"While you were gone, the work of a religious scholar came to my attention. It was an old work, saved in some odd database. Quite a miracle anyone found it at all. " The President crossed her legs at the ankle and smoothed her skirt. "This scholar believed that the Book of Pythia had been mistranslated at points. Her interpretation of the Pythian prophecies led me to believe that I am not the leader who would bring the people of the Colonies to Earth."

Kara felt her heart pump harder and got momentarily light-headed. She swallowed roughly. "You are dying; you aren't dead. I was."

The President gave Kara a miniscule smile, tight at the corners. "Yes, Captain Thrace. That is it exactly. How did you know?"

Letting out a breath of relief- it might not be as hard to persuade them that she knew the way to Earth as she had thought- Kara answered, "I have it on high authority that your obscure religious scholar is right."

Lee's face tightened, creases appearing between his eyes and around his mouth. "High authority?" he asked, then looked at the Admiral.

"Maybe you should start at the beginning, Kara." The Admiral made himself comfortable in a leather chair and motioned Kara to another one.

So Kara began with her instinct that the mandela would not kill her. She neglected to mention the pregnancy or the visions she had been having. She saw the guilt Lee felt at forcing her into the air when she was unstable; more guilt for not saving her from herself once there. She would deal with that later, when they were able to talk alone. Continuing, she tried to describe the place between, and the beings she had met there. She was a little vague about the specifics relating to her delivery and daughter, but honest about everything else. The more she talked, the more worried Lee looked, the more excited the priestess became, and the more disbelieving Tigh's posture grew. By the time she described what Earth looked like and how she could only find out the path back to it in small steps, Tigh was on his feet and the Admiral himself looked skeptical.

"You were gone for three months, Thrace," Tigh stated. "How can you account for all that time? Playing on the beach on Earth?"

Fighting the urge to hit him again, Kara spoke quietly. "Time doesn't flow the same there; it might not flow at all, actually. It's like it doesn't exist."

The priestess nodded and leaned over to whisper something to the President, who nodded in return. "So a goddess told you that you were a chosen Hero?" she asked in her usual cool, politic tone.

"Yes," Kara stated, licking her suddenly dry lips. "I didn't believe it any more than you do. But I'm back here, just as Hera said I would be. If you've looked over my Viper, you'll see that it's been modified."

Lee nodded. "FTL is only one of a few modifications we discovered. There is also a database of star systems that we've never encountered before."

The President acknowledged the information. "You must understand why I am skeptical, Captain Thrace. This significantly changes our understanding of our situation."

"Yes, Madame President," Kara replied.

"I would like you to work with Cassandra," she motioned to the priestess at her side, "and her fellow priests to go over the Scrolls of Pythia with your new knowledge, and see what you can come up with."

"Yes, Madame President," she repeated.

Cassandra smiled widely at Kara. "I believe you, Captain Thrace. I know we will find proof in the scrolls."

Wryly, Kara said, "Thanks."

"It will take me at least a few hours to gather the materials and people we need. Will tomorrow morning be good to meet?" Cassandra asked Kara, while looking at the President as well.

Both Kara and the President nodded. The decision broke the meeting up, as everyone but the Admiral, Lee, and Kara left. Quiet reigned as the room emptied.

Adama broke the silence first. "Is there anything you want to tell us, aside from your official report, Kara?"

His tone caught her off balance. He was leading her- she could tell. He knew something she hadn't shared; Cottle must have said something about the pregnancy. "What do you want to know more about, sir?" she tried to play it off. She did not want to have this first conversation about Tierra with Lee in front of his father; she had wanted to keep this quiet, so as not to have her sanity overly questioned.

Lee leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his eyes not meeting hers. "The baby, Kara. What happened to the baby?"

She played dumb. "What baby?"

His voice irritated, Adama's words snapped her around to stare at him. "The baby you had while you were gone."

"I didn't have a-" she started.

Lee rose, fury on his face. "You didn't want it, we know that. Cottle told us you wanted to terminate, and he wouldn't help you. But he said that he could tell that you had delivered while you were gone. You were a month when you left; gone three months. It isn't possible, unless your story is true about time running differently."

Gods help her. She was going to have to admit full out to the baby to prove her story. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you, Lee."

"That you were pregnant, or that you abandoned the child?" he spat back angrily.

"The baby is fine. She's safe." Kara didn't want to say more just yet.

Lee's tone absolutely dripped with sarcasm. "Are the gods looking after her, then?"

The Admiral cut in. "This isn't productive, Lee."

Lee took a deep breath and stared at the decking for a moment. "You're right, Dad. Can Kara and I have the room?"

"Take her to your quarters," the Admiral summoned the marines back in and handed Kara the vest again. "I don't want my office left in pieces once you're done with each other."


	6. Chapter 6

****

FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

__

WIP

****

Author- PTBvisiongrrl

****

Part- 6/?

****

Date- 6-22-07

****

Rating – R, just to be safe

****

Pairings/Characters- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

****

Word Count- 1551

****

Category- Short Story

****

Genre- Angst

****

Archiving- The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

****

Warnings- Not really- just language…

****

Spoilers- THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

****

Disclaimers- _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

****

Summary- As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Chapter Six

The tension between Lee and Kara did not abate in the journey from the Admiral's quarters to Lee's. Kara was less than comfortable going there, preferring a more neutral, less Dee-ish site, but neither Lee nor the Admiral had given her a choice.

Once inside, vest again removed and left in a heap next to the hatch, Kara met Lee's gaze directly. "I'm sorry, Lee."

Those were obviously not the words Lee was expecting, because he opened his mouth several times as if he wanted to say something, then closed it again as if he didn't know what to say after all. The fire in him abruptly went out, the anger draining away. After a few minutes of silence, he shook his head and looked away from her. "Why?" was the only thing he said, his voice uneven over the single syllable.

"I love you, Lee," was the only thing she could think to say just then.

It was as if she had recharged a battery; the anger returned full force and volatile. Bitterness boiled out of him. "You love me? Kara Thrace loves Lee Adama?" He laughed mirthlessly, crossing his arms against his chest in a defensive stance. "Care to try that one again?"

"I deserve that. I know it. Can I explain, though?" she asked timidly.

He stared at her hard, eyes stoney, before releasing his breath in a loud rush. "This ought to be good."

"Flat out, I wasn't ready."

Lee made a noise of disbelief and disapproval, but Kara continued. "There's a lot reasons for that, things I never told you about me, about my childhood- about my mother. I didn't think that I would be a good mother, and I didn't want to screw up a child like I was." Lee's face hardened at her words. "I also didn't want to screw up your life any more than I already had." Kara sighed, shifting from foot to foot nervously. The air practically seethed with Lee's aggression. "You said that you were happy with Dee, that things were better than they'd ever been. I didn't want to disrupt that for you, upset Dee."

"It was a child, Kara." Lee began pacing, running his hand through his short hair and making it stand up at all angles. "A life. More important than Dee's feelings."

"What about your feelings?" Kara asked carefully. "Would you really have been happy with that news? With the fact that we would be tied together forever, yet married to other people? With the responsibilities of a child, in this mess we live in?" She made her way to the nearest chair, careful to avoid looking at the bed in the corner, unmade. "Be honest, Lee."

To give him credit, even in a temper, he stopped and thought it through for several long moments before answering her. "I don't know," he replied. "You didn't give me the chance."

"I made the hard decision for you, I thought." Kara sighed and leaned back in the chair, more drained than she had been since giving birth. "And I was wrong, so very wrong, to do that for you." The image of Tierra filled her mind, giving her voice authenticity. "I'm wrong a lot, if you remember." She calmly accepted any blame Lee would direct at her, as long as he was honest as well.

"Where is she?" He came over to her chair and knelt before Kara, his eyes still flashing.

"She's where I said she was. I can't explain it other than she's well cared for and safe." Kara leaned down and put her forehead against Lee's, closing her eyes. "She has your eyes, Lee. Blue as the Caprican sky."

She felt rather than heard the hitch in his breathing. "What does she look like?" he asked, low and unsure.

"She's a perfect combination of the two of us, Lee." Kara hurt with the irony of that. "Just our best traits."

His eyes closed as well, his breath ghosting across her skin, voice breaking a little when he asked, "I bet she has your hair, doesn't she? A miniature little Starbuck-"

Kara laughed and drew away from the intimate moment. "Thank the gods, not quite. She's much more respectful, and intelligent, and-"

"You talk like she's all grown up!" Lee half-joked. When Kara didn't respond, his expression changed to wary understanding. Kara's assurances that the child was well cared for, the description of a very un-childlike child. Lee confirmed his thought. "She's still in-between, isn't she?"

Kara nodded, a tear leaking from her eye and rolling down her cheek as she thought of Tierra.

"Where time doesn't flow normally." Lee stated; his entire posture slumped and his voice became tired. "So I've missed everything, then. She's not a child anymore."

"No, she isn't, Lee. She actually wasn't a child for very long." Kara's voice held regret. Those weeks- was it weeks? She still wasn't sure-- with Tierra as a baby would be forever etched in her mind as bliss. Now, she realized that Lee would never experience that, and felt badly for it. "But she was the most beautiful and best behaved child I've ever met."

Slowly standing, Lee shook his head. "I'll have to take your word on that."

"I'm sorry, Lee. There's so much I have to be sorry about, and I can't make any of it up to you." Kara wiped at another leaking tear.

"You could try," he said. The emotion, the hurt, in Lee's voice almost broke her.

Gathering her courage, knowing that he would be even more upset with her once she finished what she had to say, she jumped in to explain Tierra's unique heritage and destiny. "She-" Kara took a deep breath. "Tierra's the key to Earth. She knows the way. From the place in-between, she can guide us."

"How?" Lee asked, obviously still confused.

"She can tell me the steps to Earth, piece by piece. It's part of what makes her, us, special."

"Why her?" Anger made Lee's voice rough.

"Because of who we are." Kara answered matter-of-factly.

Lee frowned, unhappy. "Who are we to have this child?"

"We're Heroes, Lee." Kara sighed. She found herself doing that a lot lately. "Back in our families, way back, a god fell in love and frakked a human."

Lee shook his head in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The classical definition of a hero- half-god, half-human, allowing the Hero to possess special strength and skills, to have a destiny and aid from the gods. Like Hercules." Kara stood, laying her hand on Lee's cheek and drawing his attention in to her. "You never knew how apropos your call-sign was."

"I don't-" Lee continued before Kara cut him off.

"We are the descendants of Phoebus Apollo, and our child is destined to lead the remnants of the Twelve Colonies to Earth, reuniting humankind." Kara closed her eyes, leaving her hand cupped on Lee's face for a moment. "She accepts this much better than I do."

Lee knelt before her again and leaned his head against Kara's thigh. "Will I ever get to see her?"

"They promised me, Lee. Once we reach Earth." Kara stroked his hair almost absent-mindedly. "Until then, I can only reach her while I'm dreaming."

"Can I?" he asked morosely.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I didn't ask."

"You really hate me, don't you?" Lee asked. "I wouldn't leave Dee, and I was happy, and you weren't-"

"I could never hate you now, Lee." Kara drew his face up to look at her. "I have Tierra because of you. She's more precious than anything else in the world to me. I can take not having you as long as I have her."

"What if you could have both of us?" he asked lowly.

"What about-" Kara started to ask, then the small details of the room filtered in. There were no signs of Dee's presence. No clothing left strewn about, no make-up or feminine toiletries. Even the bed, when she bothered to look, only looked slept in on one side. "Where is Dee?" she asked throatily, as if she suddenly couldn't speak.

"Gone," Lee said succinctly. "And it had nothing to do with you. She chose to leave; she chose to end it, while you were still gone."

Licking suddenly dry lips, Kara asked something that had been bothering her since yesterday. "She came to see you when we landed yesterday-"

"And I told her that she had already made her choice. Our marriage was finished, and there were no more chances." Lee wrapped his arms around Kara, pulling her to him. "That the fact that it was over had nothing to do with you being back, but it was damn convenient timing."

Kara was having trouble breathing. "Do you mean…?" She couldn't even finish her thought.

"It's always been you." Lee made Kara give him her eyes. "No matter what you did to me- it's always been there, and I can't make it go away. I tried, very hard." He blew out a breath, and looked up at the ceiling. "I love you, Kara, even when I'd have been better off not, and now that you're back-" He lost his ability to speak for a second, as he blinked back tears. "I need you."


	7. Chapter 7

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 7/?

**Date-** 1-1-08

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

**Word Count- **704

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

**Chapter Seven**

_"It's always been you." Lee made Kara give him her eyes. "No matter what you did to me- it's always been there, and I can't make it go away. I tried, very hard." He blew out a breath, and looked up at the ceiling. "I love you, Kara, even when I'd have been better off not, and now that you're back-" He lost his ability to speak for a second, as he blinked back tears. "I need you."_

Kara could not describe the feeling that enveloped her. After all that had happened- all that she had done to this man- she was getting another chance. How could he still love her? As grateful as she was for it, she did not understand it, and that meant that she wasn't sure she could trust it. She was used to having the rug pulled out from her every time something good happened to her; what if this wasn't an exception? Steeling herself, sure she was misunderstanding Lee's meaning, or, worse yet, ruining it for herself by opening her mouth. "You _need_ me?" she asked aloud, in wonder.

His eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at her. "You are a part of me that I can't live without."

She burst into full-fledged sobbing, all her emotions flooding her at once uncontrollably.

"Kara, Kara," Lee soothed her, pulling her into a crushing embrace. "I love you. Please don't cry."

Her heart stopped for just a second. "I love you, too, Lee. So much that I can't tell you in words-"

Lee's smile dropped slightly, then curled up into a smirk. "But you can show me?" he asked slyly.

She had always been better at the physical then the words. "Do you want me to?" she asked shakily.

"Gods, yes, show me." Lee began unbuttoning her BDUs and moving her toward his rumpled rack, peppering Kara's face with desperate kisses, a desperation she answered in kind. "I swore if I ever got you back that I wouldn't waste a single chance with you--" Lee managed to gasp out as he pulled Kara down onto the mattress next to him.

Kara smiled widely through the remnants of her tears. "I'm back, Lee. I'm not going anywhere." She kissed him, deeply, calmly—showing the love she held for him the best way she could.

Kara and Lee welcomed each other back enthusiastically and thoroughly before settling down again to talk. "What was it like, Kara?" Lee asked her, as she curled up against his chest and rested.

"It was- odd," Kara said after a few moments of contemplation. "I knew I wasn't somewhere normal, and yet- it didn't seem to bother me. It was like being pleasantly drugged."

Lee nodded. "How did you know where you were?"

"You won't believe me," Kara stated. "I didn't believe myself, at first."

"What, were you greeted by Zeus himself?" Lee asked, half-joking.

Kara traced the smooth lines of Lee's chest muscles with her wandering fingers. "Hera, actually. And Hestia."

Lee stopped breathing for a moment, his chest not moving. "Hera?"

"I know you don't believe in the gods, Lee." Kara drew herself up so that she could look him directly in the eyes. "But the gods are there, and they have a hand in the affairs of men. You don't have to be a believer to be part of their plans. By virtue of your birth, as your existence as human, you already are."

Those blue orbs burned into hers. She saw the battle between his well-worn atheism and the fact of her return. Neither side won out, but the beginnings of belief stirred in their depths. "So what does Hera look like?"

Smiling, Kara laughed. "Remember Commander Thessia? Basic Tactics?"

"Gods!" Lee laughed. "Who doesn't?"

"Put her in a toga, pile some thick braids on the top of her head, and add a dash of supernaturally assured arrogance, and that's Hera." Kara pushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ears. "She's regal. Hard to resist the imperial voice."

"Did you at least get to meet Zeus?" Lee asked, half-kidding.

Tilting her head to the side, Kara considered Lee. "Please stop mocking me."

Taken aback, not sure how to respond, Lee stuttered. "Kara- I'm not-"

"In your own way, you are." Kara wrapped the sheet around her, drawing her knees up and resting her crossed arms atop them.

Lee conceded. "Maybe. I'm not trying to." He turned onto his side, propped his head up on one arm.

"There's no way I can convince you, is there?" Kara asked.

"What is Tierra like?" Lee asked, the restrained emotion in his voice almost tangible. "What is our daughter like?"


	8. Chapter 8

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 8/?

**Date-** 1591

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

**Word Count- **

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

**Chapter Eight**

"Tierra hardly ever cried. She would screw up her face, and I knew something was wrong, and whatever it was- diaper, food, cold- I usually figured it our before she got beyond a whimper." Kara was a little proud of that fact, given her experiences as a child and around children. "She never had temper tantrums, or did the things that kids usually do that annoy me. And she was always affectionate, spontaneously giving kisses and hugs."

"Seems like she was the perfect child for you," Lee stated somewhat bitterly.

"She was," Kara stated, oblivious to Lee's tone while she was lost in her maternal reverie. "She knew."

"What do you mean, she knew?" Lee questioned.

Sitting up, crossing her legs, maintaining close physical proximity to Lee but some distance, Kara considered her words. She had never really told anyone about her childhood, not the details of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother. She didn't really want to now. But she needed Lee to understand what a gift Tierra had been to her, and why. "Hera explained that Tierra understood the world through my memories. She knew everything I know, have experienced, in my life."

Lee cringed a little at that. "No secrets?"

"No," Kara shook her head. "I wasn't too happy when Hera broke it to me. I never wanted a child to have a life like mine, and now MY child knew everything about me. I think that's partially why she might have been such a perfect child. She knew I wouldn't know what to do otherwise."

Lee shifted to sit up as well, so that he could look at Kara better. "How bad was your childhood?"

"Bad enough," Kara said looking away from him. "I'd rather not talk about it, except to say it left scars."

"Mental scars," Lee asked softly," or physical scars?"

"Both," answered Kara just as softly. "And she knows it all, as well as her destiny. She accepts it all so much better than I do." Looking back at Lee, she told him what troubled her the most. "Tierra told me it was time to go, that I needed to leave her to fulfill our destinies, to save humankind."

"She told you?" Lee asked. "How old was- did she appear when you left?"

"She was almost grown-up when I left."

"Three months, that's all you were gone. How could she have grown up in that short a time?" Lee questioned. "How could I have missed it all already?"

Kara tried to explain. "She was a baby- the world's cutest baby, granted- for just a few weeks. I'm really not sure how long; time was difficult to try and follow. She grew quickly- months' worth of growth in a day. She was a toddler briefly, and then a preschooler for a bit. That was fun- she loved to play pretend. But she liked to be pretend- princess, and I wanted to play viper pilots, so we had to-" Kara stopped mid-sentence at the sound of Lee's laughter. "What?"

"I can hardly believe I'm hearing the fearless Starbuck discussing play-princess, much less sounding as if she_enjoyed_ it," Lee managed to gasp out, the laughter slowing but still unchecked.

"Tierra wanted to." Kara frowned. "I couldn't say no. Not to her."

"You really do love her," Lee said.

"Yes," Kara answered, unshed tears thick in her voice. "No matter what else we have done to each other- that I have done to you, Lee- Tierra is the best thing either of us has every done."

Lee lay back down, hands behind his head, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Tierra was a grown woman in three months. "What does she look like, Kara?"

"Tierra is beautiful," Kara simply, lowering herself next to him and leaning her head against one strong bicep. "She has your eyes, and my hair. Your ears, I've noticed," Kara brushed the top of a finger against Lee's ear. "Her mouth is very expressive- it gives away every thought in her head."

"Sounds a lot like you," Lee remarked softly.

Kara ignored the barb, and continued. "Even as a baby, when I looked into her eyes, I could tell she was thinking-"

"Thinking?" Lee questioned.

"Thinking things, things beyond baby thoughts." Kara sighed. "She was aware and looking at me, following my movements like tracking a bogie, I swear." Kara rolled on her side to look at Lee. "Even though I knew she wasn't normal- that we weren't going to have a normal life- I couldn't stop wondering what she would be when she got older. A pilot, a pianist, a chef- " Kara shook her head. "The funny part is that everything I thought about it- about her older, grown up- I saw her on a planet like Caprica, as if the Cylons had never come back."

"Earth?" Lee asked.

Biting her lip, Kara shrugged. "I don't know. I think maybe. Hera promised we would be reunited-"

"Hearing you talk like this- the fact that you're here at all- makes me almost believe in the gods." Lee stated, wistfulness in his voice.

Kara smiled to herself, allowing her eyes to close as Lee's breath evened out and he fell asleep, the exhaustion and emotion of her return claiming them both.

* * *

The place in between was just as Kara remembered it. Not a soul around, a sense of wading though time and space to an island of beautiful nowhere. She wandered briefly, her heart suddenly thudding loudly in her chest as she realized she didn't know how to contact Tierra. What if Tierra couldn't find her?

That was the moment Tierra's voice echoed from behind her. "I can always find you, Mother."

Kara turned and ran to grasp Tierra in a crushing hug. "Tierra!"

Tierra hugged her back, laughing. "Did you find the Galactica, Mother?"

Kara pulled back and looked at Tierra. "Let me see you first, before you turn all business."

"I look the exact same, Mother," she said, the laughter still apparent in Tierra's voice. "It's only been a day."

"Who knew how long it was here?" Kara retorted. "Yes, I found Galactica and the fleet."

"And my father?" Tierra asked in a low voice.

"And your father," Kara answered. "He and I- we were talking, after I was debriefed- and"

"Did you punch him?"

"No!" Kara spat out, frowning.

"Did he hit you?" Tierra's voice rose.

"No!" Kara grunted back.

"Does he know about me?" Tierra's voice dropped as quickly as it had risen.

"Yes," Kara smiled at Tierra and took her hand, pulling her along for a walk through the fields. "I've told him all about you."

"Really?" A lightness to her step, and the half-smile playing at the corners of her mouth, told Kara that Tierra was pleased. "What did he think of me?"

"Lee wished he could meet you," Kara stated flatly. "That he could have seen you as a baby. He is angry with me for depriving him of the opportunity."

"You had no choice," Tierra stated hotly, defending her mother to a non-existent opponent.

"I had choices," Kara shook her head. "I made the wrong ones all along for him. He was angry I didn't tell him about you before I went through the mandela-"

Shaking her head firmly, Tierra sighed. "This is all his destiny as well as yours. All that happened was meant to happen."

"Tell him that," Kara stated tiredly. She knew, no matter how the talk before sleeping may have seemed to settle things between she and Lee, that things were not settled. That was how she and Lee were; he would nurse a grudge forever, she would continue to push his buttons and set him off, blows would be exchanged, and then give it a bit before round two. Dysfunctional, yes; but she knew what to expect.

"Not this time," Tierra whispered, pulling her mother into a hug. "You have worked past your mistakes, and Father will as well. You will be together this time, and happy."

"How do you know that?" Kara asked suspiciously, pulling back after enjoying the moment with her daughter.

"Mother! I am a child of destiny, created to help you find a mythical planet. A little foresight hardly seemed like an issue in light of that," Tierra quickly changed the subject. "Is Father sleeping as well?"

"He was when I, uh, left," Kara stated, a little puzzled. "Why?"

"I can find Father while he is dreaming." Tierra smiled. "I can meet him, now that he knows about me. Blood calls to blood."

"Can you appear to anyone related to you by blood?" Kara asked quickly.

"No. Just you and Father, I believe." Tierra shook her head regretfully. "But- can you think of him?"

"Why?"

"I need you to show him to me first." Tierra smiled. "Then I can find him on my own."

Kara nodded. "How does this work?"

"Think about him, and he should be drawn here." Tierra looked around at the surrounding hills and foliage.

Looking around as well, thinking hard, Kara searched for Lee, but he did not appear. A few minutes passed, when Kara got an idea. Smiling, mostly to herself, she cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled out, "Kara Thrace loves Lee Adama!"

Giving it a moment, she heard an answering echo from somewhere over to her left. "Lee Adama love Kara Thrace!"

Motioning towards Lee's voice, Kara gave Tierra a wide, happy, real smile. "Here comes your father!"


	9. Chapter 9

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 9/?

**Date-** 01-06-08

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

**Word Count- **1297

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

**Chapter Nine**

Kara was not happy this morning. Her non-Cylon status confirmed, she has been left to stay in Lee's quarters, confined for her own safety. Kara understood the need, even if she didn't like it. After three days of it, she was ready to smash something.

What she liked less than being confined to quarters, however, was having visitors who couldn't take the hint to leave. Like Cassandra, the priestess Laura wanted her to work with.

First glance at the woman, even before Cassandra had opened her mouth at the meeting in Adama's quarters, Kara had disliked her. She wasn't sure how the priestess has managed to rub her the wrong way; after all, Cassandra was on HER side, assuring the president that Kara was the dead leader and knew the way to earth. This was the third meeting with her since Kara's return. The more interaction Kara had with her, the less she liked Cassandra.

Kara couldn't even put her finger on just where the dislike came from. Something was off about the woman. And days like today were even more unbearable, when Kara was already feeling testy—Tigh had stopped by earlier, supposedly to leave schedules for Lee to go over, but in reality to make innuendos about Kara's return, to allude to her being a Cylon and fooling Cottle. He kept harping on the loss of her marriage tattoo, and just getting under her skin. The old Tigh had somehow replaced the scarred husk of New Caprica Tigh, and Starbuck got along with him about as well as she ever had.

Today's session centered on a discussion about the path to earth, how Kara needed to revisit the Place Between to learn more of the route, beginning to veer into territory Kara wasn't willing to go into. Namely, Tierra's existence.

Kara had come clean to Bill about Tierra after Lee met his daughter in his dreams. She wouldn't have told Bill at all, except that Lee was so excited and joyful at having met the girl that he couldn't keep it to himself. Lee has also argued that Bill had a right to know about his grandchild, that he already knew of her. Kara had at least managed to convince Lee of the need to keep Tierra's existence a secret from others for now; that people would just think she was crazy, and she didn't want that. In actuality, Kara's protective streak kept urging her to do it.

So, to stop the conversation and start something productive, Kara changed the subject slightly. "So you still think that if you can teach me to meditate properly, I can reach the Place Between while I'm conscious?"

Cassandra paused mid-sentence, a little taken aback. Kara had been highly resistant to the idea of meditating with the priestess before now. "Well, yes, I think so." The priestess smoothed the long flowing rose colored robe she wore, and crooked her head at Kara. "Do you want to give it a go today?"

Meditation was something that frightened Kara. The mindlessness of flying in open space was as close as she had ever managed to it; her mind open and endlessly wandering even as a corner of it continued to watch for enemy planes and calculate the angles and thrust adjustments necessary to keep her flying to her destination. But true meditation, asking the gods to talk to her? She had already talked to the gods, and wasn't that impressed so far.

Opening herself up totally to them, asking them to invade her mind- she caught her breath. What about Tierra?

Surely a child that lived Between, who could speak to Kara in dreams, could reach her during meditation? Suddenly motivated to learn, Kara nodded. "Yeah, I do. How do I go about this?"

Cassandra flashed Kara the first true smile Kara had seen from her. The false simpering, the sucking up, was replaced with genuine friendliness. "When you first learn, it is important to follow a ritual, to prepare yourself for the experience. It is the beginning cue to start slowing your mind, calming your body."

"What's the ritual?" Kara inquired.

"It differs for everyone. We learn a single way in training, and once it is mastered, we are encouraged to find our own." Cassandra reached into a large bag she carried with her always, pulling out a bundle of dried herbs, a few stubby candles, and a cheap clay statue meant to mimic a very pregnant woman. Laying the items out on the table, she went down to her knees and motioned for Kara to do the same.

"What is that stuff?" Kara asked as she eased herself down onto the cold metal floor of the Galactica.

"It's an herb I find helpful for meditation." Cassandra placed a candle, lit it, and handed Kara a bundle of the herb. "The smoke is quite relaxing. It is a mixture of rosemary and laurel leaves, among other things. Both are grown from cuttings taken at the Apollo of Temple on Delphi." Cassandra lit the herb bundle from the candle, closing her eyes and waving the smoke around her, taking deep breaths.

Kara hesitated, not really liking the idea of using any drugs, mythically linked to the worship of a god or not. But the desire to be able to talk to Tierra whenever she wanted- that was a pull that overcame her objections. Lighting her own packet, Kara inhaled the acrid smoke, feeling herself relax in increments until she was quite mellow. She didn't feel tired, but extremely calm; it wasn't that she couldn't focus her mind, but that she didn't want to. It was an odd feeling for her, a loss of control that didn't trouble her, even though she had spent her life fighting for control.

A few minutes later, Cassandra opened her eyes and smiled. "Are you ready to undertake the journey?"

Licking her lips, Tierra forefront in her mind, Kara nodded. "Yes. What do I do next?"

"Think about where you want to go-" Cassandra spoke in a sing-song voice that was hauntingly familiar to Kara. That fact momentarily bothered Kara, but the feeling didn't last long. It was ephemeral and floated away as quickly as she thought it.

Cassandra rose and kneeled behind Kara, laying her hands on the top of Kara's head, a familiarity that Starbuck would have punched her for, but Kara currently didn't care. "Relax your mind, concentrate on your object- take yourself where you need to be."

The directions seemed simple and easy, but the harder Kara tried, the less successful she seemed to be. At one point, she was there, in the Place Between, but it wasn't the place she remembered. The hills were dark, and the trees seemed alive, and the silence was replaced with moaning and whispered warnings to leave. Tierra was no where to be found. Kara withdrew, confused, and opened her eyes. "I can't do it."

A harshness crept into Cassandra voice, which came from the vicinity of Kara's left ear. "Yes, you can. You are being stubborn. The gods would not choose an imperfect vessel, unable to complete her mission." Cassandra's hands tightened on Kara, dropping to her shoulders. "Try again."

More submissive than was normal, Kara swallowed the odd feeling rising in her, concentrating on her goal- Tierra. She wanted to see her daughter. She needed to talk to Tierra, to reassure herself that Tierra was real, the instrument of the gods just as Kara herself and the priestess were-

A flash of Tierra intruded on Kara's drug-induced state. Tierra screaming, trying to warn Kara of something- "Cylon! Mother, she's a Cylon! Wake up, wake up-"

And then Cassandra was standing next to Tierra, gripping her arm, eyes glowing red in a familiar face.

Six.


	10. Chapter 10

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 10/?

**Date-** 01-05-08

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!!!!

**Word Count- **1793

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Chapter Ten 

Kara forced herself awake, knowing that she had to get that Cylon bitch away from her daughter immediately. The drugs in her system slowed her down, but the fear for her daughter burned them off quickly. Shaking off the stupor, lurching up from her knees unevenly, Kara whirled to face the secret Six.

Six wasn't as quick- Cassandra was still in a trance, a fact of which Kara quickly took advantage. Ignoring the confusion over the plain priestess appearing as the femme fatal Caprica Six in the Place Between, Kara planned. She could easily disable Cassandra, but she did not want the toaster unconscious- not while Six was still with Tierra. Quickly scrambling to find a weapon- back but not fully reinstated to duty, she did not have her regulation fire arm in quarters- Kara settled on her heavy military boots. Careful to only hurt, and not disable yet, Kara kicked her full force in the stomach, knocking the air out of the Cylon and sending her crashing back onto the sofa.

Cassandra/Six bounced as she landed, blinking in fury when she realized that she was back on Galactica and not in the world of the Gods. "You are going to regret that, Thrace," Cassandra/Six growled menacingly, coughing while trying to catch her breath and rise.

"Make me," Starbuck smirked at the machine, feeling some of the fear leave as she realized that Tierra was now alone, and safe. The knowledge that this Cylon had somehow put her daughter in danger- her daughter who was untouchable, or so the gods had promised- angered Starbuck. Anger brought out her cocky, mean streak. "I've killed you once, you know. At least I think I did, back at Delphi." She stepped towards the woman. "Or are you a different model altogether? 'Cause Six is way hotter than you."

Rising and circling Starbuck, fury on her face and tension in the stance she struck, Cassandra/Six laughed. "I am she. I am Boomer. I am Simon." A slow and dark smile spread across the Cylon's face. "I am Leobon as well, Kara. I am all."

Kara felt her chest tighten. "You are the One." Knowledge half-remembered filled her. "You are the final Cylon model."

Cassandra/Six laughed again, a deep dark scary laughter that echoed against the walls and made Kara's skin crawl. As Kara watched, Cassandra's features began to shift and replace themselves with the visage of Six; her form filled out, lengthened; her clothing changed into a form-fitting red dress. "I am all." And her image continued to change, morphing rapidly into all the known Cylon forms before changing into Sam Anders.

Caught off guard, not believing that she could have been so stupid as to marry a CYLON to escape Lee, Kara hesitated.

That was all Cassandra/Six needed to reclaim advantage. She threw herself at Kara, tackling her to the ground and pinning her by the throat to the metal decking. Kara scratched furiously yet unsuccessfully at the vice-grip, tearing long bloody weals into the priestess's wrist. Kicking repeatedly from the side, into Cassandra/Six's ribcage, hard enough to hear a bone crack, Kara valiantly tried to unbalance the thing choking her.

At that moment, there was pounding on the hatch, and Lee's frantic voice calling her name. She looked away from the Cylon for a moment, trying to call out to Lee but unable to gather enough air to do so. Turning back to fight her way loose enough to let Lee know there was a Cylon in their quarters, she found Cassandra back, a deadly look in her eyes, not a hint of any other form there. "What the frak?" Kara thought as she passed out, lack of oxygen winning out over her natural tenacity to survive.

Kara awoke abruptly and rapidly, surging up into a sitting position and looking frantically around her. Instead of Lee's quarters- hers now, too, but she didn't think of them that way yet- she was in the Place Between, Tierra kneeling beside her. "Mother! You are still alive!"

"What's going on, Tierra? What the frak is she?" Kara asked, looking around frantically to assure herself that Cassandra/Six was gone.

Tierra sighed deeply. "You have met the final Cylon."

Fear gripped tightly around Kara's heart; she had lead the Cylons right to her what she held most dear- Tierra. "Why did she want to come here?"

"Their scriptures- their prophecies- tell of you, and what you know." Tierra clasped Kara's hand tightly. "The Cylons do not know the way to Earth. Their god did not give them the means to find it, other than through you."

"And I led them right here-" Kara slapped the ground, annoyed and impotent.

Tierra smiled at her mother. "She cannot come back here. Not on her own- because she does not believe in the gods who own this place."

The fear gripping Kara lessened. "So you are still safe?"

"Yes," Tierra reassured her. "I am as safe as ever. The Final Cylon has been revealed. She can show you the other four models. You will be safer for this."

"The Final Cylon- she is ALL the cylons…" Kara trailed off. She was beginning to have trouble focusing; Tierra began blurring at the edges. "And Sam-" she gasped. It was beginning to darken, as if night was drawing near.

Tierra cupped her mother's face, helping her to lay back down on the mossy ground. "Hold on, please hold on- Mother, don't let go. Father will be there in just moments-"

"Tierra!" Kara tried to cry out, wrapping her arms around her daughter.

"She's killing you, Mother. Father is trying, I can tell, but he can't get the hatch open. You need to fight- you need to win- please-" Tierra pleaded.

Kara gripped her daughter tightly. "I tried- she's stronger than me-"

Tierra pulled away from her mother, and with a terrified face pleaded, "Go back, go back now. You have to live."

And with Tierra's voice echoing in her mind, Kara forced herself back into consciousness. The grip on her throat had loosened slightly after she had passed out; she took advantage of that, gasping for as much air as possible to break Cassandra/Six's hold on her throat, along with Cassandra/Six's arm. The surprise advantage of being thought dead, Kara reflected wryly before continuing her pounding attack on the Cylon who had threatened her daughter.

Cassandra/Six fought with a disadvantage now, slowed by her injury. Kara continued to reign blows down on her, stomping on Cassandra/Six visciously as Lee continued to try and open the door that had obviously been meddled with. Kara hadn't even locked it behind her earlier; it should not take Lee that long to get in here.

Cassandra/Six tried to act as if she were the injured party when Lee and the marines finally broke through. Guns pointed at her, and Lee pulling Starbuck off, Cassandra/Six pleaded, "Commander- Starbuck- she attacked me-"

"We know better, you toaster bitch." Lee spat out, surveying the damage on Kara. Angry red welts encircled her throat; she had the beginnings of a black eye, as well as a bleeding, split lip. The knuckles of her left hand were already swollen enough to make moving her fingers difficult. "Restrain this thing and take it to the brig," he directed to the men. Kara noted that many of the marines had also been on her protective detail to the Admiral's quarters upon her return. Those were the marines who were less than gentle with shackling Cassandra/Six and pulling her to her feet with the noose.

Cassandra/Six hissed a threat at Kara as she left, conceding that Kara had won and her cover was now blown. "I know what you know, now, Kara. I know what you're hiding, and how to find it."

Lee turned to the thing and aimed his firearm. Firing, he took out the Cylon's left knee. As she sagged and the marines shifted to accommodate, Lee turned back to Kara. "Stop at Life Station on the way."

Watching Cassandra/Six limp away, Lee held Kara in his arms. "I was on CAP, zoning out, and then I found myself with Tierra. She was screaming at me to get to you, to get there as quickly as possible because you were in danger-"

"Tierra reached you on CAP?" Kara asked in amazement.

Lee nodded. "Not as clear as while we were dreaming, but I felt her near, and heard her- didn't see her-"

"She told you to save me?" Kara asked, surprised. Here Kara had thought that she was saving Tierra, and Tierra was trying to save her.

"She was very stubborn. I was confused, briefly-" Lee looked sheepish. "I'm not used to hearing voices while I'm flying unless they come from the comm. What exactly happened here?"

Kara smiled, cracking the fissure on her lip open. "You saved my life."

Lee nodded, grinning a little as the emotion of the rescue began to dissipate. "For once, I pulled your ass out of the fire." Then he turned serious. "But Kara- what happened? How did Tierra know?"

Kara went over to the small refrigerator in the corner, and pulled an ice pack out of the freezer. "The toaster was teaching me how to meditate. I could never manage it as a child in temple school- I told her that. So she used some herbs to 'help' me, burned them- some type of narcotic, I don't know what. Worked well, because I found Tierra."

"That's how she knew!" Lee exclaimed.

Kara nodded. "Cassandra found her, too."

"Did she hurt Tierra?" Lee asked, concern evident in his voice.

"No," Kara stated grimly. "I made myself wake up, went after the bitch. Pulled her out of there, but she was stronger than me."

"How did you know she was a Cylon?" Lee asked.

"In the Place Between- she was a Six." Kara licked the blood from her lip. "Back here- she was all of them. All the cylons we know- she changed from one to another, and then-"

"What?" Lee blurted out, interrupting. "What do you mean?"

"Cassandra admitted- and Tierra told me- that Cassandra is the final Cylon, different from all the others." Kara flexed her hand, studying the bruising growing across the knuckles and wondering how to break the news that Sam Anders was a Cylon, too.

Lee took her hand gently to inspect it, turning it this way and that before placing a kiss on her palm, enclosing it within his own. "Are you sure that's what you saw? With the herbs-"

Kara pulled away from Lee and made him look her in the eye. "She's the Final One. Tierra agrees." Taking a deep breath, shame flooding her face, she added, "And so is Sam Anders."


	11. Chapter 11

FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 11/?

**Date-** 09 18 2008

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!!

**Word Count- **

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, . All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Chapter Eleven-

Kara refused to go to Life Station. "I've been beaten worse in bar fights, Lee," she insisted in a hoarse voice. "I need to talk to the Old Man and the President first."

Lee cupped her face, fixing that blue gaze directly on her. "You are going to have to tell Roslin about Tierra. Are you ready to do that?"

Standing shakily, Kara licked her split lip. "Just one more unexplainable, impossible to prove detail from my little va-cay."

"Not a joke, Kara." Lee kissed her cheek gently, held her close without causing any more damage. "Once the President knows, it will leak out that we have a daughter. The unanswerable questions aside, its not an easy thing to suddenly be the star in gossip like that."

The old Kara would have immediately backed off, sure that Lee was more upset at his role in the gossip- embarrassed by his relationship with Kara- than worried about her. But the new Kara, returned from the dead, simply asked, "Can you handle it?"

Lee nodded. "Yeah.." He gripped her hand, rubbing the finger where a wedding band would have been; his own was long gone. "After you talk to the Admiral and President, you'll go see Cottle?

"Yes," Kara agreed, shaking her head. She went to the small private head in his quarters to wash the blood off of her skin, but didn't bother to trade her BDUs for clean ones. The trashed uniform and the widening purple band around her throat might help her make her case more compelling. Lee called down to the CIC and requested that his father meet them in the Admiral's private office as well as ask the President to join them.

This was not a meeting that Kara was looking forward to. She had kept things hidden from the President for a reason; Kara knew how fantastic her story was, and that Lee believed her only because he was Lee and could talk to Tierra, too. The Admiral—he might well believe her, given the evidence of her pregnancy that he had been privy to, but no matter what, Madame President was not going to be pleased at withheld information.

There was no way to put this off. Word had spread quickly through out the ship that Kara had fought a new Cylon and won; the Marines had been sure to tell the tale quickly and to as many as possible. For this trip through the corridors of Galactica, body armor was unnecessary. The President, already on her way to a meeting on the Aurora and easily diverted to the Bucket, was waiting for them.

As Kara crossed the threshold of the Old Man's private office, Lee whispered to her, "I love you." Kara returned the sentiment with a smile, and turned to meet Roslin.

Roslin declined to rise, but nodded at Kara. "Captain Thrace. You requested a meeting? I assume," Roslin turned on the charm that had once made her popular with the press, "it has something to do with your adventure with our new resident in the special Containment Brig."

Lee, right behind Kara, interjected into the conversation. "Yes, Madame President. It seems your helpful little priestess was a secret agent."

The tight smile, teeth meeting and seen through tensed lips, was followed by a pause. Lee had been around Roslin enough to read her well, and right now, he could sense that he was pushing her near the edge. "Is your presence really required here, Commander?"

"This involves him as well, sir." Kara made the military honorific sound like a slur.

Laura raised one eyebrow. "I thought the Commander was out on patrol when this attack happened."

"He was," Kara left Laura's unvoiced questions unanswered, waiting for the Admiral. She was only going to be able to do this once, and Bill deserved to hear it more than Roslin.

"Yes, he was, Madame President." Adama entered the conversation. "And he came back mid-CAP, no explanation or request to land, and took off directly for his quarters, pulling his side arm and yelling for some marines. What brought you back in such a rush, Lee?" The Old Man asked from behind Kara. Kara turned to face him, her salute cut off by Bill's hand on her chin, raising it up to see the damage beneath. "While it's a good thing you did, how the hell did you know what was happening to Kara?"

"It's hard to explain, Dad," Lee started, as Roslin threw up her arms and snorted rather ineloquently.

"As if any of Captain Thrace's claims are easy to explain," Roslin muttered.

Kara, against expectations, held her tongue. "Admiral, Lee knew what was going on because Tierra told him." She met Bill's eyes and held them.

"Tierra?" Laura questioned sharply now. "Who is that?"

Bill, to his credit, kept his attention on his surrogate daughter while answering. "She is Kara and Lee's daughter."

"I was unaware that Lee or Kara had a child." Laura looked more than a little shocked. "And no idea how such a child would know what was going on, much less been able to reach Lee on patrol."

Kara continued to look at Bill, not trusting herself to face the President just yet. "Yes, we do. While I was gone-"

"This is impossible," Laura stated. "Am I the only one working with logic and the laws of the universe here? Captain Thrace was gone for three months. Three months. No child can be brought to term in three months."

Turning to level her gaze at Roslin, anger giving her strength, Kara answered. "I told you there were things that I could not explain about my time away, things that did not make sense. However it happened, Lee and I have a daughter. Tierra. She is in The Place Between." Taking a deep breath, Kara added, "She is my link, the key, to Earth."

Shock filled the room. Roslin, trying to process that she had entrusted the fate of the fleet to a child whom could not have been born, asked simply, "How?"

"You aren't going to like the answer to this anymore than I did," Lee made his way to sit down on the small sofa opposite his father and Roslin, pulling Kara along with him. "The Gods."

"Hera, specifically," Kara added. "Hera is who guided me, with Hestia. She showed me Earth, and gave me my new Viper before sending me back. She entrusted me with the mission to bring our people to Earth, to help save the civilization of Earth itself before technology destroyed it like the Cylons destroyed ours."

"So now we're to save another entire civilization, as well as our own?" Roslin looked a little green, as if these unexpected twists were making her nauseous. "And how do you know this was Hera, and not some Gods-forsaken vision or projection created by the Cylons to frak with your head?"

"Because I believe," Kara stated simply. "Because I love my daughter, I know that it was Hera."

"Captain Thrace, I wasn't sure we should trust you at all when you got back- and now?" Laura shook her head. "Bill? What do you think about this?"

Bill sighed. "She was a month pregnant when she left- check with Cottle, if you like- and not when she got back. He said she had somehow, although he could not explain how, given birth and recovered in the time she was gone." He gave Roslin a measuring look. "Do you trust the gods as much as you trust their prophecies?"

A look cut through Laura's eyes that Kara shied away from naming, and Lee completely ignored for the moment. "Lee. How exactly did you know Kara was in danger?" Laura asked.

The change over to familiar first names was a sign that Laura was listening to what was being said, as a person and not just the President of the Colonies. "Tierra warned me while I was flying CAP. I was zoning out- it was a quiet patrol, nothing unusual- when I felt her calling me. Heard her, actually." Lee shook his head. "I don't know how she did it. We can talk- I can see her- while dreaming. Not awake."

Kara picked up Lee's story. "I was working with Cassandra, trying to learn to meditate properly. Cassandra drugged me with a narcotic, an herb she said helped with the meditation. Instead of simply letting my mind wander, I focused on our daughter- they told me that I could see her if I meditated as well. I went to The Place Between, but it was odd- dark. And I couldn't find Tierra at first. She found me, to warn me about Cassandra." Gripping Lee's hand, still frightened despite their apparent victory and Tierra's reassurance, she admitted what she had unwittingly done. "In The Place Between, Cassandra appeared as a Six. And followed me right to Tierra."

Looking apprehensive, as if to reassure herself, Laura adjusted her glasses primly. "You said that Cassandra had drugged you. How can you be sure this wasn't all an hallucination?"

A frustrated sound escaped Lee. "I'm pretty sure that Kara couldn't frakkin' strangle herself."

"No," Laura admitted. "She couldn't. But Cassandra could have done that in self-defense. If the drugs affected Captain Thrace to the point of causing her to attack Cassandra."

Back to titles and last names. Kara forged ahead, still beside herself and unsure what to do with the knowledge she had so painfully learned this afternoon. "Cassandra is the Final One. She can change her appearance- did so, in front of me, to all the known Cylons- and then revealed a new one, just before Lee saved me."

"Who?" Bill asked in his gravely voice.

Lee looked his father in the eye, then glanced at Kara, who looked at the floor. Answering for her, he forced the man's name out. "Sam Anders."

"What?" Laura shot up and began pacing, holding glasses in one hand and pinching the bridge of nose with the other, as if she has a headache. "That's just precious. You came back from the Great Beyond or wherever, claim to have a child with Lee who is our path to Earth, and now you name your husband as a Cylon? Aren't there more convenient ways to get rid of him than claiming this?"

Kara stood up as well and advanced on the President. Some of Starbuck went through Kara's haunted green eyes. "I speak for the Gods. Whether or not you believe me, you are responsible for the survival of the human race- the entire human race, including those in the Thirteenth Colony. Whoever Sam Anders is to me, he is also a Cylon, and so is that thing in the brig."

Laura raised an eyebrow before speaking, command back in her tone. "Bill, send a marine squadron to take Sam Anders into custody. This Final Cylon needs to be interrogated as well. We need to know who the rest are, and hope like hell they are not in the fleet."

"Tigh will take care of it," Bill spoke up.

Continuing, Laura got up and paced. "If I am to believe you, Captain Thrace- and I'm not convinced yet, mind- only you and Lee can communicate with our link to Earth. Therefore, until further notice, one of you will remain on the Galactica at all times. We can't afford to lose you both." Unspoken was that the loss of one of them was acceptable, as long as Tierra remained within reach. "The Fleet will follow your directions, Kara, only after each jump is thoroughly checked out ahead of the fleet. If it's safe, we jump."

Kara felt a lump release in her belly. The President was not holding grudges- yet. The Fleet was on the first leg of its journey to Earth.


	12. Chapter 12

FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 12/?

**Date-** 08 08 2008

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!!

**Word Count- **

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, . All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Chapter Twelve

"I am having a hard time finding a reason to keep Samuel Anders and Cassandra in the brig, without any evidence beyond Kara Thrace's word." Roslin sighed at Bill.

Bill poured out a measure of what passed for ambrosia these days for both of them. "As they both insist that they are not, and we don't have a working Cylon detector, I'm not sure how to produce it."

"The public is demanding their release. Saying that I am acting like a dictator and suspending civil liberties again." Roslin threw back the entire tumbler of rot-gut, showing the stress of her day. "What has Saul gotten out of her?"

"Nothing," Bill swallowed a measure of his own glass, wincing a little at the stiff kick of it. Nothing like real ambrosia at all, just a mockery of the name, he reflected to himself. "She maintains that Kara attacked her, and she simply defended herself. According to Cottle, their wounds say otherwise."

"And to the public, he's just another soldier following my orders. Is she trying to push charges against Kara?" Roslin inquired, rolling her empty glass between her fingers lanquidly.

"Surpisingly, no." Adama studied the look on her face.

"Then let's make sure she doesn't. We don't want any kind of public trial to bring out we're following Thrace's phantom bastard child to Earth." Laura rose, placing her glass down with a clink.

"Please remember that's my grandchild." Bill stated calmly, in a guarded voice. He had known this conversation was coming soon; he had just hoped it wouldn't be tonight. "Could be yours. You sure you want to keep referring to her that way?" He met Laura's eyes.

"Could be mine?" Laura asked, her voice unsure.

"I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but circumstances have not permitted me the luxury." Bill rose and went to her, grasping her hand and pulling her into an embrace. "Now, I have to say something. This is a point where we need to decide- either we are together, or not. I love you. I also love my children. Kara Thrace is the daughter I never had. Tierra is my grandchild, whether I ever get to meet her or not. If you can accept that, truly without doubt as I do, then I'm ready to tell everyone that I love you. Publicly. In a ceremony, if you want; in private, if you prefer. I'm done putting things off. We could all die tomorrow, and I'm not willing to waste anymore time."

"Bill!" Laura stuttered, her hand at her heart. "I didn't realize- I had hoped, had thought- but to put it out there so boldy-"

"Whether or not you accept Kara, Lee, and Tierra, I will still love you." Bill pressed his forehead to hers. "I can't be with you, though, unless you do."

"This is very sudden-" Laura started, lost for words.

"Take time to think while I handle our residents in the brig." Bill pulled away from her, all Admiral now. "I think they can be persuaded to forgive Kara's claims, if we release them."

"How can we let two more Cylons out into the fleet?" Laura asked, back to business. "Even if I don't believe Kara one-hundred percent, can we afford to let them out, just in case?"

"We let them out, and we follow them." Bill went to his desk and picked up two manila folders. "I have men carefully chosen to keep an eye on them. We can continue to watch them round the clock, just not here. If we can't keep them here any longer, it's the best compromise."

Roslin quickly agreed, glad to let Bill take care of it. She reflected what a relief it was not to have to shoulder the burden of command alone. Bill had been there for so long, had been her sounding board and partner- could she really continue to work side-by-side with him, knowing how they felt about each other for sure but with this child standing between them? She needed to think long and hard, and figure out how she felt.

Readying to leave, Roslin walked over to Bill and reached for his hand. "I love you, too, Bill. I will think about this, be sure-"

Billed leaned over and brushed a kiss across her forehead. "Be sure. Then come talk to me about it." He tucked her arm into his bent elbow and walked her to the door, just as he did every time they spent an unofficial evening together. Tonight, they lingered just a moment more than usual, not sure if it was the last night for such easiness between them.


	13. Chapter 13

FIC TITLE: Instrument of the Gods

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 13/?

**Date-** 08 09 08

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!!

**Word Count- **

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, . All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Thirteen

Kara looked out into the field of stars visible from the aft observation lounge, leaning her forehead against the thick glass with a sigh. Her eyes had dark smudges beneath them, and her body ached with lack of sleep. It had been almost a fortnight since she had slept the night through; a week since she even had managed a semi-passable four or five hours of tossing and dozing; days since she had managed to fall into deeper REM sleep at all, for any period of time.

Unlike the old Kara, she had not attempted to hide her state from Lee. She didn't whine about it, or point it out, or complain. But when Lee finally realized something was wrong and asked her if she was sleeping well, she answered with an honest no. No elaboration.

By the third day of laying next to a sleepless Starbuck, Lee tried to help her. Amazing, mind blowing sex left her exhausted and allowed a few hours of rest. The next night, as her movement roused him from his own slumber again, he tried making a tea to help her sleep and gave her a massage. Bleary eyed and late for his own shift the next morning, Kara decided that at least one of them needed rest in order to keep up with their duties, and that night took herself off for a long run around Galactica's echoing, empty corridors.

The next night, Starbuck went for the old tried and true method of her younger officer days- booze, and lots of it. Other than a stellar streak of Triad, resulting in enough losses by the junior officers that she started taking IOUs for shift coverage, it got her nothing but a hang over so severe that Lee could only shake his head at her.

And that was why, tonight, she was spending hours staring at the stars and wondering what distant one was the Earth's sun. It had been slow progress towards Earth, given the President's restrictions, but they had completed almost sixty jumps. That was almost- she did the math in her head- a jump every two and one-half days. Tierra was feeding Kara coordinates almost faster than Kara could remember them to pass them on to Gaeta to calculate the actual jumps, creating a bit of a back-log. There were three jumps' worth of information in Kara's quick scribble still on the Admiral's desk right now; good thing, too, as her lack of sleep was affecting her ability to spend time with Tierra.

Not only was she not sleeping to dream her way to Tierra, but meditation wasn't viable, either. Trying to focus her mind enough to meditate these days was almost impossible. She couldn't keep her thoughts on anything for more than a few minutes. She swore that if she didn't sleep soon, any bright and shiny object would turn her attention from the task at hand.

That task at hand was reaching Tierra.

Since her problems sleeping began, she had met with Tierra only a handful of times, briefly amid fitful sleep, barely able to exchange a word before she woke again, all traces of Tierra washed away by consciousness. What had begun as mildly troubling was becoming an immense issue. As much as her sleeplessness was somehow physical, it was quickly becoming mental. The need to speak to Tierra simply made all attempts to sleep or meditate futile. She knew she would fail, she would screw it up. That's what she was, after all, and everyone knew it. She was a first class screw up.

_Everyone has a skill_, _Lee_, she could hear in her own hardened sarcasm ripping through her head. She had become her own self-fulfilling prophecy, with no clue how to undo the mental damage she had done to herself. After hours of attempts in the lounge, barely able to stand and get back to their quarters for the fatigue, Kara knew that she had to ask for help. The question was, Lee or Cottle?

Arriving before Lee had left for his early shift, Kara spun the wheel to open the hatchway, catching him mid-button on his uniform shirt. "Kara! Early morning run, or just couldn't sleep again?" His voice held concern.

"Couldn't sleep," Kara answered, voice slightly hoarse and weighed down.

Lee suggested going to see Cottle. "Maybe you should see about getting something to help you sleep."

He waited for an explosion. Kara HATED stimulants, hated downers, hated fiddling with her internal reaction systems in any way, other than a few drinks on down time. Anything that interfered with her ability to fly when she had to was anathema. When Kara agreed easily, Lee knew something was wrong beyond the mere loss of rest. Probing, trying to get some sort of handle on what was plaguing Kara, he asked the question that let loose a flood of frame-wracking tears. "What does Tierra say about this?"

Kara immediately welled up, biting her lip hard, and wrapping both her arms around herself. "I don't know, Lee."

"You haven't talked to her?" he asked, his mind racing. He spoke with Tierra every night, almost; only those nights that sheer, immense exhaustion claimed him did he not manage to reach her. Tierra had given him no indication that Kara had not been in touch recently.

"No," she shuddered out, sinking to the floor. "Not in weeks, now."

Lee was immediately at her side, holding her. "Why didn't you say something?"

Kara shook her head. "I didn't know what to think; I was worried that I couldn't talk to her, but I couldn't sleep. If I can't sleep, I can't reach her."

"And you didn't ask for help sooner," Lee sighed. Trust Starbuck to try and go it alone. "You couldn't contact the link for Earth, who is also our daughter, and you didn't think it was important enough to talk to me about?" His voice was not full of blame or even angry. It was just- concerned.

Kara couldn't look him in the eye. "I thought if I could just sleep-"

"Go to Cottle. Now." Lee pulled her up, still embracing her, and wiped tears from her eyes. "Get something to sleep. You are off the roster until he says you can go back on." Kara felt so downtrodden that she couldn't even put up a token defense. Nodding, she headed to the tiny bathroom afforded to private quarters on Galactica to make herself more presentable for the trip to Life Station.

"You want something to help you sleep?" Cottle asked, puffing the cigarette gripped between his teeth as he flipped through her chart.

"Yes," Kara stated, refusing to look him in the eye.

"Having nightmares?" he asked, one gray brow arched.

"No. Just can't sleep." Her hands gripped the sides of the gurney so tightly her bloodless knuckles turned white.

Cottle took note of the behavior. She was far too subdued for the Starbuck he knew, and he wanted to elicit some kind of reaction other than the soft monotone answers he was getting. Contrary to his gruff exterior, he did care about his patients, and this one in particular. Aside from the fact she was their salvation, leading them to Earth, she wasn't a bad kid, other than some rough edges. Having access to her medical files, he had an idea what had made her this way, and he tried to cut her some slack in the interpersonal skills department because of it. "Any unusual stress?," he asked, still puffing away and directing the smoke as near Thrace as possible.

She gave him a dark look of disbelief through the foul cloud of smoke lingering between them. "Unusual? No, not at all."

He conceded. "Not the best question, no." Shifting the cigarette to the side of his mouth, he pulled out his stethoscope and laid it on her chest. "Take a deep breath." Barely pausing to listen as he moved the cold metal disk around, he began the litany of questions every doctor asks a patient troublesome to diagnose. When he got to the last time she had had her cycle, the fear that crossed her eyes made him sigh.

"I don't remember-" she said, slowly. "I don't know. Oh, gods-" she sagged her head into her hands as Cottle pocketed the stethoscope in favor of a blood-drawing needle.

Looking at top-gun Starbuck deflate like an old balloon, Cottle said a quick prayer to whichever deity might be listening that it wasn't what he thought it was.

Leaving Life Station and off duty, Kara wandered adrift around the Galactica. It would take a day to get the blood results back that would confirm the piss test Cottle had made her take before she left, but she already knew the answer. Counting back carefully in her head, she was no more than two months along; her trouble sleeping roughly corresponded with the time visions had begun to haunt her while she was pregnant with Tierra.

Frak, she thought to herself. Frak, frak, frak.

She longed for The Place Between, for Hestia's soothing hand on her brow during labor, for a child as perfectly behaved and easy to care for as Tierra had been. She wished for a shortened infancy, a goddess-nanny-

For Cottle to have made a mistake.

She couldn't do this again.

Without realizing that she had done so, Kara found herself in front of the Temple of Hera in Dogsville, down in the lower berths, deep in the belly of the Galactica. Making the decision to go in wasn't conscious, but kneeling and begin the Mother's Prayer was. _O, great Hera, Mother of the Gods, Mother to mankind; You who are Daughter of the earth and skies, Foster-child of the oceans. She who is Blessed by the Fates and Praised by all, Hear my prayer..._

Kara was suddenly- elsewhere_._ She felt strongly that it was not The Place Between, but similar. There was a long hallway, edged with immense carved, gilt doors; lyre music, such as she recalled hearing at the Great Temple in Delphi on feast days, filled her ears. Following the sound, she emerged onto a familiar white beach, with brilliant turquoise water lapping the edges. "Earth," she sighed.

"Yes, my child," Hera's voice made her sigh with relief. "I thought that Earth might be a good place to have our conversation."

As the Goddess drew even with Kara, taking the time to admire the view of endless ocean dotted with tiny islands, the sounds of sea gulls distant, Kara felt foreboding. "So the news is bad enough that you need to bribe me with a visit to Earth?" she asked, turning to face Hera.

Hera sighed, looking like a tired schoolteacher faced with her burden-student of the year. "Kara, my child. How can the news of impending motherhood ever be bad?"

"Frak," Kara hissed. "I could almost, almost, keep from believing it was true." She closed her eyes, feeling a tear try to squeeze past, and bit her lip.

Hera pulled Kara's chin up, forcing Kara to look at her. "It will be alright, my dear. Your worst fears are just that- fears. You are not Socrata Thrace, and could never be. Your children will grow up strong and healthy, physically and mentally."

"Not from my doing," Kara protested, only to be shushed by the goddess.

"I am the Wife of Zeus, Queen of the Gods, and Foster-Child of the Three Fates, yet you don't believe my words?" Hera almost smiled. "Why do I still like you, you who claim to be reverent but question everything I say?"

The almost humor in her tone softened Kara a bit; and Kara had, after all, prayed for this. "Why me? Why again? How can I do this in the real world, with a real child?"

"You have almost limitless fortitude, my daughter." Hera gripped Kara's hand and pulled her along the edge of the water. "And you have love. The bravery to accept the love of Lee Adama, to trust in it, was far more difficult to find than the love you will need to mother a child."

"I don't know how to do this," Kara almost pleaded.

"You didn't know how to fly vipers before you went to the Academy, yet you are the best viper pilot in the fleet," Tierra chimed in from the water's edge where Kara had not seen her a moment ago.

"Tierra!" Kara cried out as she ran to her child. "I was so worried that I couldn't talk to you-"

"My little brother is interfering." Tierra smiled and embraced her mother. "I have missed you, Mother."

"Little brother?" Kara asked, almost amused. Trust Tierra to know. "How?"

"She can sense his thoughts," Hera stated as she made her way to the family reunion. "As small as he is, there are thoughts there-"

"Just very weird, hard to understand thoughts," Tierra continued. "He makes it difficult to talk with you."

Kara held Tierra's hand, while her other hand settled over her stomach. "What happens as he get bigger?" she asked, wanting to confirm her suspicions.

"It will be more and more difficult to communicate," Tierra said sadly. "Until he is born."

"Will you still be able to talk to Lee?" Kara wanted to know. "The journey to Earth-"

"Will continue, Kara," Hera stated. "That is why I brought you here, when you called to me. I wanted Tierra to explain to you what would happen while you were- indisposed."

Kara let out a sigh of relief. "So this pregnancy won't interfere."

"We can work around it, Mother," Tierra patted Kara's arm. "My baby brother is far too important to let him go."

"I wasn't going to-" Kara was shocked, as she realized that the one future she had not considered, in her wandering through Galactica's corridors, was to terminate this child. "Tierra- after being so wrong about you-"

Hera regally snorted. "That is not what we meant, Kara. We know that you would never do that, now that you have a better understanding of motherhood." Tierra pulled Kara down onto a shaded, rocky outcropping, Hera deigning to settle herself down demurely as well before continuing. "This one will be needed as well, Kara Thrace. His life is not an accident. All things have a higher purpose, if everyone could but see it, unselfishly and intelligently."

Kara was reeling inside from so much information, and the lack of sleep back on Galactica seemed to feed into how she felt here as well. "Will any of my children be free of this duty to the gods?"

Hera rested her hand on Kara's forehead. "That I cannot tell yet. But if it is possible, I promise it will be. But for now, I give you what I can. Sleep, Hero, and awake refreshed."

Kara barely heard a murmured "I love you, Mother," before falling into the deepest sleep of her life.


	14. Chapter 14

**FIC TITLE**: Instrument of the Gods

_WIP_

**Author**- PTBvisiongrrl

**Part-** 14/?

**Date-** 01 31 2010

**Rating** – R, just to be safe

**Pairings/Characters**- Lee/Kara, of course!

Word Count-

**Category-** Short Story

**Genre-** Angst

**Archiving-** The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, . All others please ask!

**Warnings-** Not really- just language…

**Spoilers-** THROUGH FINALE OF SEASON THREE; AU after that

**Disclaimers-** _Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…_

**Summary- **As we know, Kara didn't die in the mandela. But we don't know what happened to her yet- so here's my version. A sequel to my _Malestorm Fill-Ins_.

Kara found herself somehow in her own rack in her own quarters. She clearly remembered everything up to Hera's touch and knew that she had been in Hera's own temple before that. She had no idea, though, how she had gotten from the temple to here.

The answer came as she rolled over into Lee. He wasn't soundly asleep and came instantly aware at her touch. "You're awake!" he smiled, wrapping his arms around her.

"How long have I been asleep?" she wondered aloud.

"Twelve hours or so," Lee answered. "I'm glad that you got some rest. You needed it."

"I did," she smiled back a little unsteadily. "I remember falling asleep, finally, but that's about it. How did I get back here?"

Lee tightened his grasp on her, his eyes a shade darker than the mid-day Caprican sky. "I carried you."

"What?" she yelped. That must have looked wonderful, the CAG carrying his star pilot through the busy halls of a battleship mid-shift. The damage to her reputation was easily put aside as she considered something else that bothered her. "How did you know where I was?"

The answer didn't surprise her anymore. "Tierra."

"Of course," Kara yawned, unable to control it.

"Tierra gave me a message to pass along to you." Lee waited to see if Kara would give him a tell. The message was mysterious and yet not; there was something Kara hadn't told him that he should know. "She said to tell you to share." Lee pulled Kara back to him, nestling her against his chest firmly. "I don't want to share whatever it is until you are ready to tell me. Tierra can be a little-"

Kara chuckled. "Pushy? Wonder where she gets it from!"

Lee smiled and laughed lowly as well. "Not a clue, Thrace." He let the silence settle around them, listening to Kara's breathing patterns, the tensing and release as she contemplated her words. Easing himself up against the wall of their rack, he gently kneaded the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders.

Feeling herself begin to fall asleep again beneath his hands, Kara fought for the courage to tell him. She knew, intellectually, that he would welcome this baby. Be grateful for it, the chance to hold the child and care for it. But still—deep inside her fragile psyche, she wondered and worried. "Lee-"

Lee's fingers paused for barely a second before continuing, but that was long enough for Kara to pick up on his own nervousness. He had no idea what Tierra wanted Kara to tell him, and he feared it. Lee put up a good front, could bluff fairly well, but somehow she could read him. Choosing to drop the blade quickly for both their sakes, she blurted the news out with no finesse or set up. "You knocked me up again."

Lee's hands stopped completely. Kara could sense tension in his frame, leaning against him. "You're pregnant? Again?" His arms wrapped around her, his cheek rested against hers. "Are you sure?"

Wrapping her own arms around his and interlacing their fingers together, she answered, "Hera herself confirmed Cottle's suspicions."

She didn't think his voice could drop any lower. "How pregnant?"

"Enough," she tried to joke.

Lee wasn't in the mood. "How far?" he asked against, some of his desperation bleeding into his voice.

"About two months or so," Kara quickly answered, sensing that this was not a time for her usual antics or banter.

She was almost offended at his next question, but she couldn't blame the man when she considered their past. "Is it mine?" was quickly followed by, "Are you sure?"

She answered all his questions, patiently and calmly. Her temper was held in absolute check, made easier by the fact that she and Lee had not yet shifted position and were not face to face. "This child is yours, Lee. Are you pleased with that?"

His breath was hot against her neck, uneven. "Yes, Kara. Totally, supremely happy that we are having another child together." His arms gripped her tighter, almost uncomfortably so after a few moments of silence. "I guess the real question is- are you?"

Kara answered immediately, turning so that she could meet Lee's eyes. "Yes, Lee. Am I scared? Frak, yes. But somehow- still happy."

Their eyes met for several long minutes before Lee nodded. "Then I guess we're having a kid."

Kara let a small smile play at the corners of her mouth. She was feeling surprisingly content and at peace. The knowledge that Tierra was there, waiting for her again after the birth of this child, had taken care of a great deal of her anxiety; the gift from Hera in her distress took care of the remaining stress. In its place was-

Happiness. This is what it felt to be loved and love in return; to have found your place in the world and accepted it; to become what you were meant to be.

To find your destiny, and discover that it was shared.

The slight swell of Kara's stomach quickly made life difficult. With Tierra, Kara had not had to suffer through these stumbling stages of pregnancy; she was svelte and barely pregnant before leaving Galactica, and had given birth almost immediately upon reaching The Place Between. The first go round she had been blessed to skip missing sight of her toes, not being able to tie her own shoes, and the Gods-cursed blood hound scent ability that lead to unending nausea.

It seemed like this child was making up for her previous luck.

Vipers were a memory as soon as the pregnancy was medically confirmed. Standard operating procedure, Kara knew, but she still missed it. Last time, Cottle had truly cut her a break by not immediately grounding her. Even Raptors were gone as well, though, after Kara fainted in the middle of CIC one day.

It was nothing serious, Cottle assured everyone, and not an unusual event in pregnancy. Kara had never fainted before, though, just randomly, without severe injury or obvious cause. She was actually glad that Cottle took her off rotation completely, although she would never admit it to anyone, even Lee.

More troublesome was the several times a day ritual that quickly developed. She would break out in a sweat- not a mild one, but drenching her clothes and rolling off her scalp kind of sweat- and then have to make a run for the head. She had trouble figuring out just what set the horrible nausea and dry heaves off; it seemed to be everything. But definites were the smell of algae cooking, and cigar or cigarette smoke. Not being able to stomach the mainstay of fleet rations was a problem.

Cottle put her on an even nastier mixture of nutrient mush, but at least it stayed down, unlike the algae. She dutifully showed up twice a day at Life Station to retrieve her "food," and by some miracle, it was always during Cottle's rare smoke-free moments. Kara suspected it wasn't really a miracle, but she'd rather not acknowledge the kindness openly. She knew he'd deny it. Instead, she thanked him by following his orders for once without question or rebellion.

Motherhood could change a girl, Kara noted to herself as she rose and headed back towards her quarters. Twice daily trips to Life Station and general inability to keep her eyes open had lead to modified shifts for her, split between CIC and maintenance. CIC was not a comfortable place to be. Her time was spent being carefully studied by the Admiral, clearly in concern but still annoying, and fighting dirty glares at her back from a pissed-off Duala. The woman couldn't accept defeat gracefully, although the rancor was confined to looks and a sharp word here or there. Still, only advancing pregnancy kept Kara from calling her out and ending the issue once and for all.

All this time to herself- Lee had to keep up with his own work, and some of hers as well to keep the _Galatica_ running- had left Kara somewhat at a loss, especially without Tierra to talk to. In between naps and her shortened shifts, she began sketching again. Paint was the medium her fingers itched for, but creating her own pigments was beyond her capabilities. There simply weren't the necessary supplies available, and the substitutes that had been created in their absence were a hodge-podge of nasty smells and even worse ingredients. In her current state, a simple pencil and blank paper had to be enough.

Keeping in large part to her quarters to avoid unnecessary and unexpected additional trips to Life Station, Kara was limited in her choice of subjects. Her mental images were the only models she had, other than cold metal and colder space, so she turned to those. The one image she felt compelled to get down on paper before it faded was Tierra.

The immediate recognition of her subject by Lee, who had come into their quarters as she was entranced by her work and surprised her with a gentle kiss on the cheek, delighted her. The sketch of nearly-grown Tierra had so excited Lee that Kara was determined, before the arrival of their second child, to do what she could to share the time in The Place Between she had spent with the infant Tierra with him. Kara's free time was now a frenzy of creativity, carefully reigned in and hidden to keep it from Lee. She didn't want him to see the baby album she was creating until it was complete; in the meantime, he had her initial drawing of their daughter framed and on his CAG's desk.

Kara also found time to sketch a portrait of Tierra for the Admiral. She had noticed, during her short mini-CIC shifts, a certain tension surrounding Adama that had nothing to do with Cylons or command. The tension rose as the President's absence became more noticeable, yet Kara wasn't quite sure how to put the question to him. Instead, she did what she could. She made sure to talk to him beyond the confines of duty several times a day; visit him at his quarters once or twice a week; fill him in on how the baby was doing after her weekly formal visits with Cottle.

At one of their visits, sans a CAP-flying Lee, Kara presented the Old Man with the simple framed picture. "I made something for you, sir-" she said as she placed the wrapped package in front on him.

"For what occasion?" He looked pleased, though surprised.

"A just-because," Kara smiled her shy smile, sipping her glass of water.

Raising an eyebrow, the Old Man unwrapped the frame carefully, flipping it over to look at what the frame encased. The look on his face caught Kara's attention. "Who is this?" he asked.

"Meet your granddaughter."

Adama's usual stony facade cracked. "Tierra?"

Kara sat back, pleased with herself. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"I can see Carolanne in her." The words floated around the room, heavy with meaning and emotion. Kara, unsure how to respond to the ghost of a woman she had never actually met but whose presence she had felt looming large in the background for years, held her tongue. The Old Man rarely spoke of Lee's mother; less often than even Lee himself. He sighed deeply, rose, and placed the framed sketch lovingly amidst his collection.

When he didn't speak again for a few moments, Kara asked quietly, "Is that a bad thing?"

Adama blanked rapidly for a moment before facing her. "I believed you, Kara. Lee believed you, and I thought I did, too."

Confusion played across Kara's face. "You thought you did?"

"I did."

"And now?" Kara could sense bitter bile climbing up her throat.

"I realize that before, I only wanted to believe. Very, very badly." Bill reached out and pulled Kara into a hug. "But this- this makes it real. Tierra is part of us. Tierra is a continuation of what was before the Cylons attacked, as well as our salvation."

Still slightly stunned, Kara admitted to not understanding. "I don't get it. You didn't really believe me?"

Leading Kara to the sofa, Bill loosened his uniform collar as he slumped down, patting the cushion next to him for Kara to join him. "I had belief in you. I looked at all the facts presented, and those supported you as well. But I didn't have faith."

"I still don't understand," Kara admitted, feeling ill at ease and the joy at the Old Man's initial reaction completely lost.

"No matter how talented an artist you may be-" Bill paused and swallowed sharply. "The subtle shadow of Carolanne- you couldn't have done that on purpose. You didn't know her well enough-"

Kara let out a shaky breath. "At all. I never met her."

The Old Man nodded. "You couldn't have just created this. Tierra-" he cleared his throat. "She has to be real, has to exist, then."

And Kara understood. Belief- pure faith- could only sustain one for so long before proof was needed. Somehow, Kara had given him that proof, just as Tierra had given Kara her own.


End file.
